


Hundred and Twenty Year Old Virgin

by kaicho



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Comedy, M/M, Romance, Selectively Mute Link (Legend of Zelda), Trans Link (Legend of Zelda), Zora Courting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-20 03:01:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19984978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaicho/pseuds/kaicho
Summary: Link decides to begin courting Sidon. Only thing is he has no idea where to start.Time to ask around.A look into Zora courting.Rated Explicit entirely for last chapter.





	1. Hook

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the first two chapters before realizing this was ballooning into something huge, because I can't write a one-shot to save my life.
> 
> Also this is rated mature entirely because I plan to write sex into the last chapter and was the entire original idea of this fic was for. Enjoy.

Purah stared down at her notes, then at the Champion of Hyrule, then over at Symin. Then back at the notes.

Link huffs his bangs out of his face and continued to wait.

It’s not like he was getting any younger.

“Just as I thought,” Purah began, eyes finally sliding up to address the Champion, “your aging has slowed significantly.”

Link furrowed his brow, hands moving. _By how much?_

Touching her pen to her lips Purah said, “Since you spent a hundred years asleep we can presume it’s by that much. I don’t know when it will start back up, or if it ever will; you’re aging slower than me.”

His brows knit together even further at that.

_What about Zelda?_

Immediately, he didn’t want to know the answer. He wanted to stand up and bolt out of there, never to return.

Symin frowned and looked away.

“Hers was magical, not ancient Sheikah technology like us.” Purah’s voice retained its scientific edge, speaking only facts born from objective reasoning and research. A tinge of remorse bled into her next sentence, a soft whisper. “She’ll be twenty two this spring.”

Link remembers when she had turned seventeen, literally a lifetime ago, intent on climbing the mountain to demand her birthright. Now she was turning twenty two and Queen of Hyrule.

Meanwhile, he was still physically twenty.

Right now he felt ready to crumble and blow away into dust, head turning down, unable to comprehend what he was looking at. He saw his own hands, calloused from climbing mountains, holding onto reigns, and wielding whatever he could grab to defend himself.

In his mind’s eye he could see Zelda’s hands clasping around his, small yet by no means dainty. She had to fight for her birthright, willing to go tooth and nail not solely because it was her duty but because it was _owed_ to her. She had used her very own hands to pry it out of Goddess Hylia herself.

How many years before those hands grow weaker? Soft skin fading from wrinkles, barely able to hold his own – and then never again?

What point was being a knight if he outlives his princess? By how long? Decades? Centuries?

Forever?

Link wondered if Mipha’s Grace still worked. If not, perhaps he could throw himself off Shatterback Point.

Purah brought him back by snapping her fingers in his face.

“Hey! Stop looking like a kicked puppy!” She pouted, hands on her hips, every bit a little girl. “Who do you think you’re dealing with again? I’ll go over every single factor there is to find a cause. This isn’t my first run-in with Sheikah aging effects.”

She adjusted her glasses to aid her point, that analytic glint in her large brown eyes returning. It made her look a lot older. Symin heaved a tired sigh from his spot organizing the files.

“For now just continue what you’re doing! Go kick a bokoblin or two, or shield surf into Molduga’s mouth like you did that one time.”

Link blanched. _Who told you that?_

Purah puffed out her chest. “Word of you travels to even out here.” Then, offhandedly, “Plus, Symin’s girlfriend is Gerudo.”

The hero turned to the research assistant, who was already turned away and giving a light cough. “As it stands,” Purah continued loudly, “I don’t need you moping around my study!”

She was pushing Link out of his chair and out the building, telling him to come back in a month for another check-up. After that, all he saw was the front door of the Hateno Ancient Tech Lab.

Link heaved a sigh, pulled out his slate, and warped away.

-

The average lifespan of a Hylian was around fifty years during the reign of Calamity Ganon. Travelling wasn’t safe, so living to old age was becoming less and less common if one were to travel. The ones that stayed safely tucked away in villages could go to seventy years before they pass away in sleep.

In contrast the Sheikah could easily double that lifespan, if Impa and Purah were any indicators. They matured at the same rate, simply stretching adulthood further. The Gerudo were more similar in life expectancy, if only due to their heavily militaristic lifestyle. If they don’t die fighting they live much longer. But then, what was a Gerudo without a blade in her hands?

The Rito were interesting. Being more non-mammalian their maturation was distinctly different. Children were born out of their eggs already two to three years old, and matured into full adults by eighteen. Their lifespans were similar to a Hylian but they spent old age much quicker. It was as if the moment a Rito stops being able to fly their life would soon follow.

Out of the races it is the Zora and Gorons that live the longest. King Dorephan appeared as old as he had a hundred years ago, and even then he was still capable of reducing a guardian to bolts and bits. Link was sure it had more to do with Dorephan’s royal lineage, but even then the council of elders were far older.

The Gorons… Well, Link wasn’t even sure how they had children, and he hasn’t known a single one besides Daruk to pass in his memories from before the Calamity to after it. Perhaps it was erosion?

Giving a soft chuckle Link climbs the steps out of the Ne’ez Yohma shrine.

He finds the Prince of the Zora easily enough; he’s a nine foot tall red shark built like a brick shithouse. And even if Link couldn’t see him, he could definitely hear him, talking to someone about this or that in that enthusiastic voice of his.

Sidon is talking to Kodah at the inn, the two having never heard the words ‘be quiet’ in their lives.

“I will make sure the Seabed Inn is taken care of, you can count on me!” says Sidon, performing his usual pose. Kodah squeals, smiling with every tooth in her mouth and bowing so rapidly her jewelry clangs out a song.

“Thank you so much Prince Sidon, it really lets my gills breathe easy knowing the inn will be well taken care of!” Kodah’s eyes open, glancing past the prince to spot Link approaching them. She gasps excitedly, waving his way. “It’s Linny!”

Sido turns on his heel at the mention of Link’s nickname. Upon seeing the hero he gives his own blinding smile, surging forth in two quick strides to pick the Hylian up and hug him tightly to his broad chest.

Link felt his back crack.

“Sorry! I keep forgetting how fragile Hylians are,” Sidon says, setting Link down. “Oh, but do not think I believe you to be incapable, my most treasured friend!”

In return Link only gave a thumbs up. Why spend rupees getting a massage when he can just hug Sidon for free?

“Linny!” Kodah pranced over, as if she wasn’t too old to be prancing, “It’s been some time! Too busy to say hello to your old friend anymore?”

Link grinned. _Not when I need a place to sleep._

That earned him a pout, Kodah’s gills flaring out every which way. Sticking out her tongue she spat, “Too bad because me and Kayden are going on our anniversary, so the inn’s closed!” She gave a suddenly coy look. “Though, I’m sure Prince Sidon will have a bed for you...”

“Kodah!” Sidon squawked, gills puffing out in what Link was sure was a wheeze. “What are you insinuating?”

 _That I think I just got upgraded to the princely suite_ , Link gave a wag of his eyebrows. Chuckling, he signed to Kodah, _Congrats on the anniversary. How many does this make?_

“Eight!”

Link blinked, stealing a glance to Kodah’s daughter standing nearby. _I thought you and Kayden were married a lot longer than just eight years?_

It was the Zoras turn to blink. Kodah got it first and broke into laughter, her gills producing this hissing sound that Link remembers elders has called ‘unladylike’ more than once.

She shook her head, waving her hand as if to dispel the assumption. “Oh no, no, not at all Linny! We Zora don’t do anniversaries by year, that’s too many! We count them by the decade.”

“And it’ll be eighty wonderful years by tomorrow,” spoke Kayden, having finished up packing and taken his place by his wife. “I heard your snorting from here. Music to my earholes.”

Now it was Kodah’s turn to squeak, giving Kayden a rough smack on the shoulder as she began to go off about their trip to Lurelin.

Link found it nice to see Kodah so in love. It must be a wonderful feeling.

Once the family had all departed (Finley was only willing to go if Sasan was invited as well. Sasan for his part looked appropriately devastated at all the running he’d have to do) it left just Link and the Zora he had set out to find in the first place.

 _I’m glad she’s happy_ , he signed after a bit.

Sidon nodded, looking as if his mind was elsewhere. “Eighty years together, it sure is something.” Shaking it off he focused his attentions back to Link. “Aside from that, what have you come to Zora’s Domain for, my friend?”

Link grinned wickedly, hands beginning to weave a tale.

_Okay, so turns out Symin got himself a Gerudo girlfriend…_

-

“I still do not understand how wearing clothing allowed you entry,” Sidon mused. The talk about Gerudos had obviously led to Gerudo Town, of which Link divulged how exactly he managed to slip inside. It wasn’t his proudest moment, in a long list on disgraceful ones. Sidon seemed more hung up on the clothing aspect. “We Zora wear the exact same accessories, both male and female. The only distinctions are who produces the eggs and who lays them.”

Link, about to take a bite of his egg sandwich, refrained. Setting it down he signed, _Mammals are way more complicated. It must be nice though, to not presume based on appearances_. He shrugged. 

_Chief Riju told me I had to still dress in my vai outfit if I wanted to visit again. I fought a lightning camel, Sidon, a fucking lightning camel. It shot lightning. And it was a camel._

Sidon gave a reassuring pat to Link’s back.

“Traditions can be suffocating, I would know. No matter what you wear or how you’re referred to, know you will always be given the utmost respect from me, my dearest friend.”

A smile easily found its way on Link’s face. What Sidon said was true, so breathtakingly true, and he’s proven the statement time and time again with every simple, earnest gesture of his.

When Link had first woken up, given his name and a mission, he could admit to himself now that he was terrified when he first met Vah Ruta. She was his first Divine Beast, guided there by a princess’ voice that seemed to grow fainter each passing blood moon.

Her size was imposing, not to mention her vast power; roars striking fear into the Zora every time she crashed into the dam like a crack of lightning.

It was Sidon who found him first, calling from above and landing with ease before him. Pleaded for his help, to go up the ever-dangerous trails and then to even gather shock arrows from a lynel.

Link felt he should have resented Sidon for that. But every task he completed, Sidon would heap praise onto him, and suddenly doing these things didn’t feel as arduous. Someone believed in him, more than just a voice, but a real person who he could feel and see and hear.

And when he rode on Sidon’s back to fight Vah Ruta, he felt he truly could win this fight.

And he did.

Smile growing even larger, Link beamed up at Sidon with silent, endless gratitude. Not only in battle did the prince assist him, but he’d helped teach Link a form of communication to finally speak with others. Had divulged his sister’s love of him without a tinge of bitterness, presenting her marriage proposal to him himself, and heaved no disappointed sigh when he couldn’t remember her.

Link felt Sidon should resent him for that. The dredges of torn memories reminded him that Sidon, as a mere toddler, was very attached to his sister, and had been very jealous of Link for stealing her time away.

 _Sidon_ , Link began slowly, unsure of how to phrase this. Sidon in turn gave his undivided attentions, waiting patiently as he always did. It gave Link the courage to continue signing, a question forming that he wanted answered, _how old are you?_

“My age?” Sidon turned to consider this, the two of them leaning against a railing on one of the winding watery highways that made up the domain. “I believe my birthday this year will mark my hundred and thirtieth year. Why do you ask?”

Link squinted, doing all the calculations in his head. _In Hylian years, how old would that make you?_

After some silent thinking, Sidon replied, “Roughly twenty, I believe.”

_And how old is your father?_

“He’s still got his wits about him, so likely over four hundred years,” answered Sidon good-naturedly. If anything he seemed more amused by Link’s questions. “Why do you ask?”

 _You’re old_ , he snickered.

“I’m still very boyish, thank you very much!” Sidon exclaimed, causing Link’s eyes to widen. Did that mean, somehow, Sidon was going to get even more jacked? Sidon’s warm grin waned a bit then, gaze looking down to the waters below. “I suppose to a Hylian I have well surpassed their age expectancy. In the next half-century you will be an elder and I… I will remain the same.”

His tone cradled heartbreak, and Link thought back to Purah’s words this morning.

Waving to get Sidon’s attentions back, Link signed, _I’ll likely live past most Hylians too. Purah said the Sheikah technology used to put me to sleep actually halted everything – including age. She doesn’t think I’ll start aging again for another hundred years. So I’ll remain the same too._

Just admitting that caused his throat to clench.

It’s a long moment before Link felt a large hand on his shoulder, bringing him closer to the Prince’s side. “Oh, Link…,” Sidon sighed from somewhere above him. Everything Link said and didn’t say was pieced together by him, wrapped together with empathetic reassurance. 

Leaning into Sidon, Link simply closed his eyes.

-

Link left soon after. To the Gorons, the Rito, and the Gerudo.

He didn’t tell them what he had implied to Sidon. He had inquired to Yunobo of the Goron aging process, only to be told that Gorons literally do not have lifespans. They come into existence, stones forming legs and hands, mouths and eyes. Then after whatever margin of time, if they are not struck down by an outside force, simply lie down and return to the rock they once were, their bodies splitting apart and forming new Gorons.

Gorons were weird, Link deduced.

In Rito Village all Link got was a congratulations from Teba.

“I won’t be able to wish Queen Zelda a proper birthday,” he explained, “It falls in time with both my anniversary and son’s birthday, and with the defeat of Calamity Ganon we wish to spend it as a family.”

Link nodded, buying up all the arrows from the shopkeeper, and bid the Rito farewell. He made his way to Gerudo town.

-

_Riju I need a favor._

“Good day to you too, Champion.”

_I need someone to buy me a bottle of Noble Pursuit._

Riju groaned, leaning to the side of her glorified booster seat. “Pray tell, why do you need a bottle of Hyrule’s most potent alcoholic beverage? The thing’s only legal purpose outside of Gerudo town is to burn the warts off of mules.”

_It’s Zelda’s birthday present._

Another sigh. “I should send word that you plan on poisoning the queen. But, as it stands, I have only one stipulation.”

Link nodded vigorously, already pulling out a bag of rupees for Buliara to take.

Riju smiled, the same grin Link always got when he was about to punch a Yiga in the face with a bomb arrow, or when he jumps off Shatterback Point, or anytime he tries to get a scale from a dragon, the type of grin that bad choices are born from:

“Make sure you record what happens.”

-

The birthday was still a couple days off, but Link found himself scaling the castle walls anyways. He was in his stealth outfit, and if he got caught this would surely look like an assassination attempt.

In a sense it was.

But that just meant he shouldn’t get caught.

Slipping into a room proved easy enough, since it had been his old room when he lived in the castle. The one that didn’t face the front of the castle, but the one that allowed him to see the emerald plains stretch farther than he could see.

It was empty, as he figured she’d leave it. The sheets and bed were done, empty dressers and drawers for his use, and even a personal bathroom with its own water source.

She didn’t ask him to stay, but he could return whenever he wished, and that in itself was home.

Link shucked off most of his gear, forgoing the bodysuit for the cotton robes of a simple butler. How he got such a clothes was its own adventure.

He slipped into it, bottle of Noble Pursuit tucked into a messenger bag. A simple hat covered his hair but it wouldn’t hide his eyes, and so he made sure no one passed his door before he exited.

Down the hall. Right, right. Left. Down another hall, passing Zelda’s bedroom. She wouldn’t be there at this time of night.

Link raps his knuckles against the study door, a series of them in precise order that let Zelda know who exactly was there.

“Enter.”

With permission he strides into the room, taking his hat off as he swiftly closes the door behind him.

There is the Queen of Hyrule, face disheveled as she is bent over reading something about Molduga. Even in her free time she was studying this or that, the absolute pinnacle of nerd.

“Happy birthday,” spoke Link, striding over and brandishing the Noble Pursuit. With his free hand he elaborated. _Missed your drinking age but figured better late than never. Found the good stuff. Apparently it could kill a mule or something._

Zelda blinked, a bemused smile already tugging at her lips. “Your sense of timing has never been your forte. My birthday’s not for another three days. And the last time I was eighteen was a good hundred and four years ago.”

Link rattled the bottle in her face, voice raspy as he hissed out, “Muuuuuuuule.”

She rolled her eyes. Link hadn’t been around for her previous birthdays, and likely wouldn’t be around for this one either. When he was out travelling the world the date and seasons were lost on him, not to mention he’d probably detest all the fanfare the Queen’s actual birthday will entail.

It’ll go the same, he’ll be blowing up a bunch of bokoblin as Zelda saves him a slice of delicious cake, Link half-remembering to slide some interesting relic he found against Zelda’s door some days or more later.

For now they sat together at Zelda’s desk, two shots of Noble Pursuit between them.

“Alright, on three,” Zelda took a deep breath to steel herself, “one, two, three!”

They drank at the same time, tossing the drinks back and feeling it strip the topmost layer of skin off their throats. Both gagged and coughed violently, then poured another round of shots to do it again.

After the second round Zelda pushed her glass away. “This was a mistake.”

Link just wordlessly poured himself his third shot.

 _A birthday to remember_ , he grinned, though it held a bitter edge to it. _How many more birthdays will we even get together?_

Immediately a hand came to place itself over his, smaller yet no less courageous. “Many, many more,” promised Zelda. “No matter this life or the many other reincarnations, we’ll be together, bound by fate.”

Link exhaled a breath he didn’t know he was holding at that. “Do you think,” he began, his voice cracking at disuse and the alcohol he’d poured down it, “do you think we’ll love each other like this? Not lovers… no, but like – this?” He looked down at their hands.

Perhaps in another life they might be _in_ love with each other, romantically, but in this one he loved her just as strongly in a platonic manner. He’ll defend her and she’ll be the sun that brightens the world. That, to him, was a form of love just as powerful. He was her knight, and she was his princess – his queen.

They got their happy ending, fought for it, died for it, but the nagging question seated at the bottom of his heart asked insistently: why doesn’t it feel like enough?

“I can only imagine so,” began Zelda, still holding his hand.

They sat in comfortable silence, allowing the alcohol into their system properly. Zelda, the wise woman she was, capped the bottle and placed it out of view. They’d had plenty for tonight.

It was Link to break the silence, face surprisingly thoughtful despite how shitfaced he feels. “Did you know Symin got a Gerudo girlfriend?”

“The, the guy working under Purah?” Zelda squinted, finding it hard to just focus. Link nodded, perhaps more than necessary. Zelda let out a loud groan and sunk her forehead into her palm. “Goddess, I’d kill for a Gerudo girlfriend.”

“Girls,” said Link, nodding sagely.

“Girls,” Zelda agreed. “How about you? Making any headway with that fish of yours?”

“Fish?”

“Sisco was it?”

“Sidon.”

“Yes, yes. So how’s that going?”

“Going good.” It was not going good.

Zelda merely nodded. “So does that mean you’ll give him that sapphire you found?”

“Yes,” lied Link, like a liar.

Asking about Zora courting was difficult, aside from the whole courting another species aspect already. He couldn’t ask anyone for assistance or else they’d start asking questions, and sooner or later Sidon will find out and then he’ll _know_.

“Then it shouldn’t be a problem,” Zelda hiccuped.

Link grinned, curling around a cushion he’d found. “Did you know Zora can live over four hundred years?”

She nodded sleepily. “Those of noble blood can.”

Timidly, Link added, “Sidon’s a noble.”

She nodded again. “And you’re not going to get any younger.”

Another peaceful moment until Zelda’s stomach grumbled. She looked at the door to her study. “The alcohol’s set in, so if we leave we’re going to make fools of ourselves.”

“But food,” said Link, putting a hand on the desk to help him stand. He didn’t even realize how drunk he was until he stood, feeling all the blood in his head shoot down to his feet and cause his vision to swim then slam against the side of his head. He had no doubt Zelda felt the same.

They both stood up, and already Link knew he wasn’t going to remember what happened next.

-

Tumbo grumbled as he woke up, feeling someone push him. He tried to push back, figuring it was his brother being clingy. There was plenty of room in the sleeping pools.

He was given a brief respite before the body pushed into him again, pressing into his gills.

“Keye, go sleep on your side,” grumbled Tumbo. It was far too early to wake up.

To his opposite side he heard Keye’s voice. “What are you talking about, Tumbo? I’m over here.”

Tumbo opened both his eyes, seeing his brother bobbing several feet away. He then looked over to what had actually swam into him.

It was a young blond-haired Hylian, wearing only shorts, floating face-down in the water.

His scream shook the entire Domain.

-

Link thought back to Kodah’s words, and how he’s finally found his way into Sidon’s bed.

But instead of losing his v-card it was nursing a hangover so terrible he considered hoping back into the shrine of resurrection.

“You really have no one to blame but yourself,” whispered Sidon, tucking the Champion of Hyrule into bed. He’d removed most of the lamps so Link could bask in blissful darkness, several elixirs for headaches placed at the table beside it.

 _I told Zelda I was so thirsty I could drink all the water of Zora’s Domain_ , explained Link, hands moving slowly to not irritate his hangover. Thankfully, Zora could see in the dark.

Sidon only shook his head. “And how’d that go for you?”

Link took a minute to think about it. _The Domain has more water than I remembered._

A snort. Sidon stepped closer, sitting at the edge of the bed to brush the bangs out of Link’s face. “I suggest you rest for now, dear friend.”

An idea sparked in Link’s headache-riddled brain, of his conversation with Zelda, or what he could remember. He wasn’t getting any younger.

Biting his lower lip he signed, _Only if you keep petting my head_.

Sidon’s large dark silhouette paused, staying so still Link wondered if he had actually been left alone and didn’t notice. But then those large clawed fingers fell back into his messy hair, being extremely careful not to scratch his scalp.

Immediately Link knew he was going to blame this on his hangover, but for now he gave a content sigh and closed his eyes.

“Anything for you, my most treasured friend,” he heard Sidon whisper before falling asleep.

-

Link spent his time fishing for Hyrule bass on the day of Zelda’s birthday. No doubt she needed the three days before to recover. From what snippets of memory coming back, they had raided the royal pantry like a pack of rabid moblins. Link had gotten the bright idea of trying to bake Zelda a cake right there and then, and Zelda had assisted by handing him whatever her little fingers could grab.

He also decided that cooking it in the oven was, as he recalled saying, “Horsehit!” and lit a fire right there in the kitchen. The two of them squatted there like cavemen, wondering belatedly why the cake was turning a charred black and not a delicious mouth-watering vanilla.

“You should take a bite,” urged the Queen of Hyrule. Zelda was the smart one, so Link had followed her command and ate a forkful. It must have been because the Noble Pursuit stripped off his taste buds, but Link actually ate two forkfuls before realizing cake shouldn’t be crunchy.

He gagged and rushed for some water, which Zelda took as a good enough signal to try it for herself.

It was then that some guards, woken up by the noise and smell of smoke, found their esteemed Queen of Hyrule and Champion fighting over the same water spigot.

Zelda won in the end, pushing Link clean across the kitchen. Link in turn proclaimed he’ll get his own water and promptly teleported without any of his proper gear to Zora’s Domain.

Which resulted in him running around trying to find some water, failing to look down at his own feet. He’d found the sleeping pools though, and apparently had the manners to take off his clothes as if to go diving.  
  
Instead he simply tossed himself straight into the pools and promptly passed out because he forgot to bring his head above the surface.

Link wished he could say he was ashamed of what happened, but there were so many more embarrassing moments it wouldn’t reached his top twenty.

Instead of going back he stayed in Zora’s Domain, fishing and working on his battle plans.

Zelda’s drunken reminder that he wasn’t going to get any younger resonated in him, and she was right. He shouldn’t see his inability to age as a hindrance, if anything it was a boon. To keep living, keep exploring, and keep loving.

A fish snagged on his line and Link grinned.


	2. Line

_Kodah!_

Link blinked at the empty Seabed Inn. Well, mostly empty.

"She's out on her anniversary," reminded Sidon, standing behind the front desk where Kayden would've been. "I'll be the one managing the inn in the meantime. One night's stay is twenty rupees, but there is also the luxurious water bed for eighty rupees."

The hero squinted at the Zora prince, eyeing around as if Kodah was hiding somewhere. Sidon waited with the patience of a saint, gesturing to the comfy beds.

 _Mei!_ He signed so fast Sidon needed to see it again. _Do you know where Mei is?_

"She's by the sleeping pools, still in time-out for leaving the Domain for so long. Why do you ask?"

Link froze at the question. It was a perfectly acceptable thing to ask, and yet he wasn't ready to answer it. He had come back to the Domain to ask Kodah how she and Kayden courted each other, Kodah being the Zora he goes to when Sidon isn't around. With her gone, and asking Sidon out of the question, he needed to ask someone else.

 _I need to ask a question about Zora_ , he tried, only for Sidon to smile widely.

"I can answer any question about Zora culture you wish, my most treasured friend!" That was effervescently true. Sidon could vomit the history of the Zora back to when they were just fish with a dream and a twinkle in their eyes, but he definitely couldn't be the one to answer what Link had to ask.

 _I need to ask a married Zora_ , he signed again, waiting for realization to dawn on Sidon's handsome face.

"Married?" He sounded almost bereft. Link held back a wince. "What would you need to ask a married Zora?"

 _Research_. That certainly sounded suspicious, but before Sidon could pry for more info Link was turning on his heel. _So, sleeping pools? Thanks Sidon, see you later, have fun with the inn!_

To his luck a weary traveler walked in right as Link rushed out, forcing Sidon to assist them and taking his focus off the shifty hero.

Link made his way straight to the sleeping pools, eyes scanning for a teal-scaled fishwoman. If he wasn't actively looking he might have missed her completely.

Mei's coloring made her an ideal predator, blending into the water with only the top of her head and eyes poking out, said eyes blown wide when they zeroed in on their prey: one of the snails that made its home around the pools.

Under the water her mouth was a serrated grin, sharp teeth barred and ready. She lunged forth, ready to sink her fangs into the defenseless creature– right as Link snatched the snail away. Teeth met stone, and Mei gave a startled cry more from surprise than pain.

Her eyes shrunk back down, hands covering her mouth. She looked up at Link, who held the snail aloft, and gasped, "That was mine! I spent twenty minutes chasing it down!"

 _Chasing snails isn't very hard_ , he replied, signing with one hand while the other held his invertebrate prize.

Mei pouted, sinking down into the water to blow bubbles. "I'm not allowed to leave, but I've been so bored I've begun hunting mollusks." She crossed her arms with a huff.

Link sat the snail down, allowing it to slowly, slowly sprint to freedom. _What about taking care of Keye and Tumbo?_

At the mention of her boys Mei's eyes filled with tears, ready to overflow the pool she sat in. "They don't want to play with mamaaaaaa!" She balled her fists, splashing so much Link had to step back less he get soaked. She wailed, "I suppose it's my fault, being gone so often, but now that I'm back they suddenly have better things to do! Even my sweet little scale Keye told me he wanted to go bass hunting– alone! My baby minnows are growing up, but I'm not ready to let them go!"

Link thought back to Kodah, who had lamented how fast Finley had grown. Rolling up his pants, he scooted over so he could sit with his legs in the water.

 _Can I ask you something?_ He signed once Mei was calmer. She nodded, sniffling. _What was it like to be courted by Fronk?_

"My darling?" Mei glanced over to where said Zora should be working. "He's always been super serious and quiet, I had no idea he was even interested in the beginning."

Now he was getting somewhere. Link didn't know Mei well but most Zora had been rather friendly, if a bit blithe. _How do Zora flirt?_ Just signing the word had Link's ears burning.

For a moment even Mei looked confused, but then topaz eyes widened. "Oh! Are you hoping to court a Zora?"

Link pressed a finger to his lips, trying to sush her. Looking over his shoulder he heaved a sigh of relief when it appeared no one heard them. When he turned back Mei had a wicked cheshire grin.

"I'd be happy to accept!" she squealed, then louder in a conspiratorial tone, "Help the champion tackle his biggest obstacle yet, the trial of looooooovee!"

There was no way that didn't bounce off the Domain's pillars, echoing everywhere until even Hylia herself knew it. She probably already knows.

That bitch.

Mei pulled herself out of the pool in one fluid motion, standing beside Link and blinking when she realized she had to look down.

"Oh, you're so tiny! Zora prefer taller mates, but then again you're plenty cute on your own!" She lead him over to a waterfall, thankfully away from anyone else.

Mei pointed to the water, an endless crystal stream that lead into a lake below. "Showing off is a big part in courtship, and what better way than the fundamentals of swimming like the dive. One's form shows off how strong they are, not to mention the glimmer of scales in the water." She looked Link up and down. "Wait, you don't have any scales."

A beat. "I'm sure you'll look fine regardless!"

Link almost regretted asking Mei for help. Almost. She was willing to help him out and not ask which specific Zora he'd set his sights on, something he doubted Kodah would let him get away with.

With a deep breath Link rolled his shoulders and prepared to dive, taking a practiced stance that felt too rigid. Even if he's done this plenty of times he couldn't help but keep his arms too tense, legs not bent enough; funny how things become impossible when one's forced to think about it.

As such, when Sidon comes over, innocently asking Link what he was doing with Mei, Link springs too early. He attempts to catch himself, limbs flailing like a rabid cucoo, only to slip on the watery floor and tumble the thirty feet down into a sickening belly-flop.

Not even Mipha's grace was going to revive his dignity from that one.

Link was content to lie there and sink to the bottom of the lake in shame if not for webbed hands lifting him up, shaking him slightly with a distant, "Are you alright?"

He reached out, patting his savior on the forearm. _Yeah, just a little stunned. Thank you Mei._

A chuckle. A masculine one. "Perhaps that fall was more serious than I thought." Link raised his head to see Sidon looking down at him, bright smile ever present despite being tempered into a softer, warmer one for the moment. "Let me try again, are you alright, my hero?"

"Yeah," came the intelligent answer, murmured under Link's breath without him even thinking it. Usually his voice sat frozen in his throat, unwilling to come out except for elusive conditions. Sidon's eyes widened, his crest arching as if raising his nonexistent brows.

"Did you speak?"

Link shook his head savagely, nearly undoing his hair tie while he struggled to get out of Sidon's admittedly comfortable grip. His face was bokoblin red. _Nope! Not a peep out of me! Sorry to make you worry!_

Sidon didn't look entirely convinced but still relented his hold, allowing Link to tread water.

"I see, forgive me for misjudging. If you'd like, I could always assist you with diving practice –"

Link reluctantly held up a hand. _No thank you. Besides, you need to look after the Seabed Inn._

The prince appeared to visibly deflate, his smile kept by sheer force of will. "Oh, I see, you're absolutely right. How thoughtless of me. I won't be keeping you or Mei any longer."

Regret pulled at Link's stomach at how dejected Sidon sounded, about to move to swim back up the waterfall. In one quick motion Link found himself grabbing hold of Sidon's ulnar fin, halting the prince in place.

"Link?" His tone sounded hopeful.

Link gave a small smile. _Help me back up?_

That blinding grin returned to its rightful place on Sidon's charming face. He gave a quick nod as he allowed Link to hold onto his back, just like he had when they reclaimed Vah Ruta. Once he was secure Sidon gave him a bold smirk. "Hold on tight, my wonderful friend."

He shot up the waterfall faster than an ice arrow, reaching the peak with powerful kicks that sent them both high into the sky, letting out a victorious yell as Link shrieked with joy.

He landed with practiced ease, standing to his full height, the water washing off his scales leaving them shining like rubies. Link was certain he heard Sidon's fanclub squealing from afar.

Mei clapped loudly. "Yes, yes! What a wonderful dive, my prince! That's how it's done!"

Link slipped off, making sure he didn't trip again, marvelling at how effortless Sidon made it look.

He had a lot of work ahead of him.

Sidon cast a look at Link, chest heaving with exertion while he stood particularly tall. If Link didn't know better he'd think Sidon was posing.

 _Took my breath away_ , he said, giving an exaggerated swoon.

"I'm humbled, dearest Link. If you need any help for _anything_ , I'd be more than happy to assist to the best of my abilities!"

He wanted to take Sidon up on the offer, he really did, but he couldn't risk letting his true intentions loose so soon. With a rueful smile he refused as politely as he could.

"I see." Sidon tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice but Link knew he heard it anyways. "It's alright, I need to get something looked at by Dento anyways, a loose metal clasp you see. I will see you some other time then." He bid them farewell, casting glances between Link and Mei before making his way back to his temporary position.

"I'd say trying to emulate Sidon is good practice," said Mei once things quieted down. Link blanched, trying to come up with something to steer the conversation away.

_Did Fronk show off for you?_

"Oh, he certainly tried! His posture was always so stiff you could tell he was overthinking it! I gave him diving lessons because I thought he was simply bad at it, little did I know he's an excellent diver! He just always messed up because he was trying impress me!" Mei gushed and gushed, her tail flailing wildly behind her head as both her ulnar fins fluttered with excitement. "He's so charming, just remembering how he once landed so poorly he knocked out a dozen of his teeth has my heart melting!"

Link didn't have a response to that. _Aside from diving, is there anything else Zora do to show they're interested in someone?_

Mei considered this, putting a finger to her lips in thought.

"Hmm, we try a lot of things. We catch the biggest, strongest fish we can find and present it as a gift, or we make jewelry out of our shed scales and teeth. Oh, my favorite is when it's a full moon and you perform a dance with all your fins displayed, enchanting your lover with your iridescent movements!"

The Hylian blanched. He could only perform one of those.

_Maybe we can start with fishing?_

"I'd love to but I'm still grounded indefinitely." Mei frowned, but then lit back up. "Oh, perhaps you can ask Tottika for more info? He's younger so he'll be able to teach you a thing or two about current trends."

Link considered this. He didn't know him well either, but he desperately needed all the help he could get. _Thank you so much_.

Mei grinned. "No problem! Here, I'll bring you over!"

He couldn't refuse her, following along trying to remember which Zora Tottika was in the first place. They didn't walk far at all, coming before a young orca-ish Zora wielding a silverscale spear.

Tottika nodded at them. "How can I help you two today?"

"Can you go on a date with Link?" Mei asked, cutting straight to the point while Link took a second longer to realize what she just said.

The other Zora tilted his head. "Pardon?"

"Can you go on a date with Link?"

 _Don't repeat it!_ Link furiously waved his hands between the two. _I just need his advice!_

"But how else are you going to get experience?" Mei tilted her head. "With flirting?" Apparently that meant turning simple quest for knowledge into a date.

Tottika looked between them, more confused than anything else. "Link needs help flirting with a Zora? Why me? I don't have a mate."

 _Kodah's on her anniversary and Mei can't leave the Domain, and no way am I asking any of the elders for help_ , Link attempted to explain.

"Also you've tried to court a Hylian before," chimed Mei.

The black zora's eyes scrunched closed as if he had an excruciating headache. "I had, yes. It… did not go well." He exhaled slowly and looked over at Link. "I'd be honored to assist you in your romantic endeavors, once I get off my shift of course."

"I told Link all about Zora courting, he knows about fishing, jewelry, and the dances!" Mei beamed.

"What about the honor battles?" asked Tottika.

Link squinted. _Honor battles?_

"If multiple suitors are vying for the same Zora, then that problem is solved with duels," said Tottika. "Of course, I have no doubt that Master Link will prevail in such circumstances, but keep it in mind once you begin actively pursuing your romantic interest."

Link nodded. He already knew he'd have to contend with Sidon's fanclub; Sidon was not only the prince but an absolute catch to both Zora and non-Zora alike. It was surprising he wasn't already taken. Hell, he could have his own harem if he wanted.

For now Link felt he's gotten plenty of pointers with even more to practice on. He bid both of them farewell, Mei promising to take him fishing once she's ungrounded while Tottika will see him in the afternoon for more tips.

Link meandered around the Domain afterwards.

Out of all the main settlements he vastly preferred Zora's Domain, if only because it wasn't scorching hot like Gerudo Town or Goron city. Rito Village came in close second, but Zora's Domain was the first place he found after his reawakening and he couldn't help being sentimental.

He wouldn't mind living here if it came to that, giving a quick wave to Sidon as he ambled past.

-

"Sorry for being late, Gaddison wanted to go over something before she let me go."

The first thing Link realized was that Tottika appeared much different without his armor, even younger than he usually looks compared to other Zora. In exchange for his armor he's switched out his chest plate for an elegant yet simple silver necklace, forgoing anything on his head entirely.

 _You're fine_ , Link signed back, giving a smile. He didn't want anyone to see them so he had the meeting point at Veiled Falls. It had a shrine he could teleport to and wouldn't warrant suspicion. His hands moved slowly, picking his words carefully as if testing the waters.

 _So… Zora dating_.

"First things first. Who's the Zora in question?" Tottika folded his arms and levelled his gaze at Link, albeit less judgemental and more curious. "If I know then perhaps I can help tailor my advice to their liking."

His response had the Hylian's face reddening. Tottika considered this an interesting response.

 _It's a male Zora_ , Link tentatively signed.

"Gender doesn't matter in courtship, only on who fertilizes the eggs and who lays them," said Tottika, reminding Link that he was still unable to eat eggs anymore. "But I suppose that does narrow down the list."

Tottika began walking into the pool that Veiled Falls flowed into, gesturing for Link to follow until the water reached their calves.

"I won't pry further if you're uncomfortable. After my failed attempt to seduce a Hylian I found that Zora can come off as rather… eager, and that can scare non-Zora off if they are not accustomed to it."

_Their loss really. Zora are fantastic._

Tottika smiled at that. "Much appreciated, Master Link. As it goes, Zora courtship is all about standing out. You prove that you're the best choice available, be it catching food to show how well you can provide, to displays of power like diving and dueling. If the feelings are reciprocated then your gifts will be accepted. If it's jewellry then it'll be worn daily, and if it's a meal then it'll be devoured down to the last morsel. During duels, if you end up with a scar then it's a testament to your devotion."

Link nodded along eagerly. He wondered if he should be writing some of this down.

 _About the jewelry though, I don't have any scales or teeth I can shed_. A single tooth, maybe, and Link had already been debating which one he'd rip out.

He is thankfully halted by Tottika, who took one look at the Hylian's unimpressive mouth and shook his head. "You don't have to handmake it, just getting the jewelry is good enough. It would only really come up if things get serious. Remember how Lady Mipha made you the Zora armor? It would be something of that caliber."

At the mention of the late Zora princess Link's shoulders slumped. Did he have the right to pursue her younger brother if he hardly remembered her in the first place?

As if reading his thoughts the black Zora waded closer. "Do not fret about such things this early. I know Lady Mipha would want you to find happiness no matter what, you've earned it more than anyone."

Giving a watery chuckle Link signed, _Thank you for reading my mind. And also for the awkward dating advice._

"Think nothing of it. In return you can teach me about how to use a sword? Apparently you taught Bazz back then, and who better to learn from than the Champion of Hyrule?"

_Deal!_

The two chuckled together, simply enjoying the crashing of the falls and the crisp afternoon air. It was spring so a light chill still nipped at Link, eliciting a shiver.

"Cold? Hylians have rather thin skin compared to Zora." Tottika moved closer when he noticed that Link's lips were turning blue. "Hylians turn so many colors. Does your lips turning blue mean anything?"

 _Means I'm freezing_ , Link signed, his teeth clattering together.

Tottika leaned down so he can see all the changes to the Hylian's skin. They didn't appear in the Domain often, and the Zora was never given opportunity to be as close to one like this. "How does this indicate you're cold? As well, before your face had turned red. What did that mean?"

If Link wasn't shivering he would have found it amusing. For now he considered pulling out a coat to keep the chills at bay.

 _I'll tell you if you lift me out of here. Too cold, can't move._ Tottika rolled his eyes but obliged, picking Link up from under the armpits with ease.

Link grinned, wondering how easily Sidon would be able to pick him up.

 _Alright_ , began Link, now set down on the grass and pulled his doublet over his shirt. He couldn't go into detail like Zelda often does but he had a decent grasp on how things worked. _Since Hylian skin is thinner it allows you to see the blood better. When I'm cold though the blood flows slower, creating that blueness. Make sense? When I turn red the reverse happens, with more blood pumping due to increased heart rate._

He received a nod in return, right as a new thought popped into his head.

_What do you know of Hylian courtship? Things like kissing and holding hands?_

Tottika considered it for a moment. "Admittedly next to nothing, likely the reason the Hylian did not return my affections. I had been unable to read any signs of interest. As for kissing and holding hands we Zora are not familiar with those."

Link figured as much. Zora's sharp teeth made kissing dangerous, and the webbing between their fingers wasn't ideal for hand holding. He sighed, wondering if he'd be able to convince Sidon to do those gestures for him.

If he ever made it that far.

"I'm curious about them though. They are to show affection between Hylians, right?"

Now it was Tottika asking the questions, which Link had no problem answering. He doesn't remember doing many of them, but he must have considering he knew in the first place.

 _It's comforting_ , he signed, no better way to explain it.

Tottika nodded, satisfied with that answer while he knelt down on both knees to be eye-level to the Champion. "May I? Hold your hand I mean. Just to experience the sensation." At Link's approval Tottika leaned forward, eyes scanning over all the features of Link's face. His gaze was entirely analytical, and Link held no discomfort as he pressed closer.

His webbed hand reached forward, taking hold of Link's much smaller one. With the webbing it felt like his entire hand was being enveloped, Tottika's palm smooth to the touch and warmer than he'd expected. Link tried to interlace their fingers but as expected the webbing prevented most of it. Still, Tottika appeared satisfied with the way he marvelled down at the small contact.

From the side Link felt he heard something moving, but he shrugged it off as a deer.

"It's funny," said the guard after a moment of observing. His warm breath fanned over Link's face, a nice reprieve from the slowly sinking temperatures. "Hylians from an objective standpoint aren't that interesting to a Zora. After all, you lack sharp teeth or impressive height, and aren't adapted to the water, all things we prioritize. To us you're a scruffy bunch. And yet there's something incredibly charming."

His tone held a wistful tone, probably thinking of that Hylian. Link made a note to try and find said Hylian, to ask they give Tottika a second chance.

The noise grew louder, causing Link to finally glance over to try and find the shape. It appeared too big to be a mere deer, had a bear made its way over? No. It was bigger than a bear even. It was-

"Prince Sidon?" Tottika stood up, dropping Link's hand to stand to attention, posture ramrod straight. Link gave a wave but he too wasn't sure what the prince was doing here.

"Tottika?" Sidon blinked as if he didn't expect to see the guard there, gaze centering on Link. "Link, there you are. I had been looking for you and was told you went this way."

 _Here I am._ He grinned, hands on hips.

"I'd hate to interrupt," the prince swallowed, looking between Link and Tottika, "whatever the two of you are in the middle of. Perhaps another time?"

Link glanced up at Tottika who shook his head.

 _Not really, we're done for now_.

With some agreement they agreed to walk back together. Link wasn't sure he could look at Sidon without wanting to kiss him so he stayed on Tottika's side instead.

"If you don't mind me asking, what were you two talking about?" Sidon walked with his hands behind his back, shoulders squared and jaw held high, every bit the handsome prince his people adored.

"Master Link and I were going over the differences between Zora and Hylians," Tottika answers smoothly, not a lie but not the entire truth. "It was enlightening."

Sidon looked to Link, then Tottika, and back to Link who steadfastly avoided eye contact. He had refused Sidon's help, citing the fact he needed a married Zora, only to turn around and ask an unmarried one anyways. He was a bad friend.

Thankfully Tottika came to his rescue before Sidon could question Link's dishonesty. "What did you wish to ask Master Link about, if I may ask?"

Sidon smiled. "I came out here to inquire if Link's eaten dinner yet."

Link signed that he hadn't. Truth be told he was too busy going over his mental notes to remember to eat, and now that it's been brought up he was famished.

"Great! I've got something for you to try!" Then, as an afterthought, "Tottika, you are free to dine with us as well."

"I'm honored, my prince, but I will have to decline," Tottika replied with the ease of someone familiar with avoiding awkward situations, "I have dinner waiting for me." Once they reached the statue of Mipha at the center of the Domain the Zora guard bid them farewell. He bowed to Sidon, waving goodbye to Link who returned the gesture, and promptly made a formal getaway.

Link hunched his shoulders, prepared for Sidon to metaphorically rip into him. To accuse Link for ignoring him and getting caught in the lie, to have to fess up the real reason he's been sneaking around.

What he doesn't expect is for Sidon to steer him back to the Seabed Inn where an enticing smell wafts from.

"Since I'm in charge for now I realized the Inn has a cooking pot. And since you are always using it to create delicious meals, I wished to also try my hand at it! The Inn doesn't get many guests so I had plenty of time to practice." Sidon ushered him to sit at a table while he prepared the meal.

Link stared at the prince's back, unable to believe he was let off the hook so easily for now. Once he was looking in Link's direction the Hylian signed, _What about that one traveler this morning?_

"He didn't actually stay." Sidon proved it by gesturing to the beds, all pristine and empty. "No one else came either so I decided to use my time proactively. Luckily all the ingredients were right here in the Domain!"

He presents a plate with a gargantuan slab of salmon on it, a mixture of herbs and creamy sauce drizzled over it that's accompanied by minced tomatos, everything topped by fresh parsley. Link has to swallow thickly since the only other option is to drool all over himself.

 _I didn't realize Marot Mart sold salmon this big_. It almost looked like too much food. Almost. Link was going to lick that plate clean.

Sidon coughed. "Well I bought the butter and wheat from the mart, yes. But the fish I caught myself."

Link's stomach rumbled, begging him to devour his meal, plate included, but Sidon's admission gave him pause. _Wouldn't it be easier to buy it though?_ All the fish is caught by Zora so there's no doubt it'll be fresh.

"I wanted you to have the best. Better than the best! You deserve nothing less after all!" Sidon seemed resolute in that fact, still waited to Link to dig in.

Which Link did without any further preamble. Had he been less hungry he might have been embarrassed at his atrocious eating habits, swallowing every particle of food he could find and even having Sidon give him seconds.

Somewhere in the middle of it he found it odd that Sidon wasn't eating as well. In fact the prince was content to stand, far too big for the Hylian-catered chairs of the inn, and watch him.

Mouth full of salmon, Link signed, _Don't you want some too? It's amazing._

"Forgive me my dearest friend, but I do not prefer cooked food. I'm pleased to know my cooking suits you though."

Link scarfed down the rest, uttering a loud burp once he was done. Usually it was him preparing the meal so being on the receiving end was a delightful treat for once. _That was delicious_ , he signed, patting his full stomach.

Sidon grinned wide, teeth sparkling nearly as much as his bright golden eyes. "My most treasured friend! That fills me with so much happiness to know! I'll definitely cook you something even better next time!"

 _You're a natural_ , signed Link, rather surprised how Sidon pulled off such a meal if he didn't even eat cooked food.

"Yes, well," Sidon chuckled, "I suppose having someone to make it for helps. Now I can see why you enjoy cooking for others, it's a wonderful feeling."

Link couldn't agree more. At first he simply cooked to stay alive, throwing whatever was available together, but as his journeys continued and his collection of resources grew he became adventurous in what dishes he could concoct. Later he found that the second best thing to cooking a mouthwatering meal is sharing that meal with someone else.

They stayed there in comfortable silence, Link too full to move and Sidon content to stand. The hero tried to stay awake, to perhaps confess why he'd been acting two-faced all day, but with night fallen his eyelids were drooping dangerously low.

A chuckle emanated somewhere close. "Tired? I can bring you to a bed."

Link sleepily nodded, head bobbing and threatening to knock him off balance. _Water bed please_ , he signed slowly, trying to find his pouch where his rupees are.

He felt a large hand on his shoulder steadying him, before he found himself scooped up and pressed to a solid chest. Already he was practically asleep, snoring lightly as yes, Sidon could pick him up as if he weighed nothing.

Sidon held him close, Link able to feel a soft rumble emanating from his chest as the prince began walking.

"Don't worry about payment, my most treasured friend," said Sidon, voice low, "the bed I'm taking you to is free."

Link awoke in a comfortable water bed. Figuring he was in Seabed Inn he gave a languid stretch and a yawn, reaching out a hand to search for his bags. His hand travelled the sheets, expecting to find the edge and befuddled when it kept going. Opening his eyes he was met with the largest water bed he's ever seen, sure he could strain from his fingers to his toes and be nowhere close to taking up any substantial space.

His memory supplied whose bed was this massive, the one he was in not even a week ago, nursing the worst hangover imaginable. He was in Prince Sidon's bed.

Pulling the covers off Link was remiss to find his clothes still on sans his boots.

Speaking of the Prince. Link passed his gaze around the spacious room, made of a high polished stone ceilings adorned by numerous seashells glittering like stars. He had a perfect view of East Reservoir Lake, the room angled so he could see the entirety of it. Its peaceful surface reflected the sky as a perfect mirror, the sun sitting high up without a single cloud to obscure it.

Link blanched. He'd slept in, as he was prone to do when given a bed and no alarm.

As if on queue footsteps approached, pushing aside a curtain made of seashells to reveal the large Zora Prince. Finding Link awake he gave a toothy grin, hands holding a bowl of some sort.

"I'm glad to see you awake, dear friend. I had a meeting early this morning and thought it best not to wake you. I brought lunch as well." He held up the bowl, stepping closer to show Link the contents.

It was a colorful salad of some kind, a plethora of fresh greens mixed with frosty cool chillshrooms a, drizzled in some glistening sauce. Already Link licked his lips at it.

 _Have you eaten lunch yet either?_ Link accepted the bowl, a decorated fork made of silver accompanying it. It was huge in his hands but he bet Sidon tried finding the smallest fork he could. _I didn't realize Zora ate salad either_. Weren't they a primarily carnivorous species?

"I have, yes." The Zora sat down on the bed, weight causing the mattress to dip. "You're right though, we Zora cannot digest plant matter. Still, I wanted to try my hand at it so please do me the honor of being my taste taster."

Before Sidon had even finished his sentence Link had a crunchy, juicy mouth full of delectable vegetables. The finely chopped mushrooms – and was that some hearty radish he tasted? – burst in his mouth and filling it with a delectable crispness. It tasted better than the hydromelons he found around found Kara Kara Bazaar, like breathing a lungful of Hebra's frigid winds without the biting sting of the icicles.

The next time Link opened his eyes the entire salad was gone. He sucked the remaining sauce, something that tasted like zapshrooms, off the fork and had half a mind to gnaw at the bowl for more.

 _Thank you for the meal_ , he signed humbly, setting the bowl on a night stand. _I usually don't have someone cook for me so this has been a treat, thank you Sidon._

The prince chuckled. "I had worried you wouldn't be hungry from the huge meal I made last night, but it seems my fears were baseless. Next meal will be twice as filling, I promise you my most treasured friend of all time!"

Link shared the grin but he held up a hand to quell Sidon's enthusiasm. _You don't have to cook for me for every meal you know. I can cook my own stuff, though I'm surprised how well these dishes have been; you've got some real talent_.

Sidon did a peculiar thing then. His mouth hung open slightly, letting Link see the two rows of teeth inside, his head canted to the side as if getting a better angle to hear the hero's words.

Then, in a small voice that had Link's spine go rigid, Sidon inquired, "Do you wish I no longer cook for you, my most cherished friend?"

Link immediately waved that notion away, having absolutely no idea where Sidon even got that idea. Despite being the second-tallest Zora in the entire realm Sidon resembled a kicked guppy at this moment it would be comical if it wasn't so jarring. _No, no, no, not at all! I love when you cook for me!_ Sidon's tail wagged at that. _It's just… am I really worth the effort?_

"You're worth the whole world," Sidon affirmed with confidence, as if he didn't even consider doubting it, "I would give you the entire Domain if I could."

At that Link flushed, looking away to rub at the back of his neck. He signed with his back facing Sidon, a warm sensation coursing through him. _You're so sweet, you know that? The absolute best friend a guy could ask for._

Link hopped off the bed, a renewed zest for life. He gave another hearty stretch before tugging on his boots.

 _Once again thanks for the bed too! I've got a few things to do today, good luck with looking after the inn!_ The hero darted off, waving goodbye over his shoulder. He'd for sure find a way to repay Sidon's generosity, as well as get this whole courting thing down.

He was going to knock the Zora Prince's metaphorical socks off.

Unknown to Link who was already down the hall, sat said prince, eyes still fixated on the spot where the Champion once sat, the sheets still warm from his presence.

"Friend?" Sidon repeated to absolutely no one.


	3. Sinker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told myself I was going to limit it to three chapters but the last one was already the size of the first two chapters combined so I decided to chop it up again. Last chapter will be entirely sex.
> 
> Edit: had a problem updating.

Link limped back into the Domain, twitching now and again while a small flame continued to burn away at his hair.

Lynel hunting was hard. 

He ducked under a waterfall to put the flame out, making his way to Dento’s workshop. 

Upon reaching the old Zora, Link set down a bag containing the lynel’s horn. It was a bitch and a half to get considering lynels didn’t enjoy getting their faces smashed in by a claymore.

 _Is this enough?_ He asked as Dento picked up the horn to observe it.

“I think I’ll need another,” came the remorseless reply. “The horn’s of good quality but I’ll need more to fully assess their properties.”

Link squinted at the curmudgeonly old fish. _There’s no more lynels in the area_.

“Yes, yes I know. We’ll just have to wait for the next blood moon.”

Link considered showing Dento the enormous hoofprint-shaped bruise forming on his ass. He’d been all over the Lanaryu hunting down these beasts in hopes of getting the blacksmith to craft him something Sidon would like.

Not that he mentioned it was for Sidon. In fact he implied it’d be for his own use, a warrior’s accessory. Something that could be useful for the prince while also being elegant like all the regal adornments the Zora wore. Link had figured nothing less of using Ganon’s own severed fangs would suffice, but since he already vanquished the jackass he’d have to settle for lynels.

Yet again Link considered just getting some jewelry from Gerudo Town. Did Sidon like earrings? Did he even have ears? Getting Sidon to grow ears sounded easier to do than dealing with Dento’s pickiness.

 _I don’t really have time to wait for the next blood moon_ , he tried to sign as patiently as he could. _Is there possibly anything else to use that’s easier to collect?_

Technically he had at least another hundred years, but Link didn’t think he could be chaste for that long. Not without getting an arrest warrant.

Dento hummed, thoughtful as he took measurements of the horn. “I’m not sure, but I’m certain you’ll work things out.”

Link groaned and slunk away.

It’s been another week since he first began his ‘Trial of Love’ as Mei dubbed it. Each day or so he’d ask a different Zora for help in some way, refusing to allude the purpose. The less that knew the true reason, the better. He feared gossip would get back to the object of Link’s many affections.

He’d gotten his Zora armor blessed by all the faeries just so he could catch fish better, handing his practice catches off to Mei for her help. Tottika was usually busy with guarding the King, but in the afternoon would be available to offer his own opinion on how to go about things. In return Link had taught the other man how to properly wield and fight with a sword and shield, their usual meeting place still Veiled Falls.

It was actually Laflat whom he asked for help on crafting armor, since her late father had previously run a shop on the trade. She steered him towards Dento, though promised if Link found any precious gemstones she’d be willing to add them into the finished design.

“Zora really admire sparkling things,” she said. “You can probably tell from all the artisans but we value looks along with practicality. There’s no reason for beauty to not be both powerful and majestic.”

 _I heard Zora also use their own scales and teeth sometimes_ , said Link, trying to broach the subject as if he just so happened to know that nugget of information.

“Those are more tokens of affection and good luck charms, though there is the tale of the late queen’s scale providing protection that started the whole tradition.”

Link refused to look at his own hands as he signed out, _Do you have any examples?_

In return he was given a coy, knowing smile from the Zora secretary who opened up her large book. Flipping through it she brought out a ring of pure silver, a single ivory tooth wrapped around in twisting, elegant silver loops laced with polished luminous stones. Several teardrop-shaped opals hung from the circle, gorgeous little things that swayed like dewdrops.

“I made this a long time ago but never found the right Zora to give it to. It’s fairly simple so I bet you could get Dento to make you something similar, here, you can even borrow it. I have no use for it.” She let it fall into Link’s hands, the band bigger than his wrist.

 _It’s beautiful! I’ll keep it safe!_ Link had stashed it away in his pack, making sure to place it where it won’t be crushed. 

Link still hasn’t returned it just yet. He would pull it out now and again to marvel at the design, so simple yet refined, a testament to Laflat’s skills. Once he got the right materials he’d no doubt ask for Dento and Laflat to make him something similar to present to the prince.

Finally, when it came to the dancing he wasn’t really sure who to ask. Mei admitted she never learned, more interested in the fishing aspect of the courting, while Tottika and Laflat both never had the opportunity to try.

He considered who else to ask, sitting by the sleeping pools and checking off the list of candidates. He’d tried asking Marot but she thought he was trying to buy something, Cleff being equally unhelpful by warning him not to even consider dancing with his little sister Tona.

Speaking of Tona, there she was, prancing around the pools with Tula, the two sighing about how dreamy Prince Sidon is.

Link silently nodded in agreement as they talked.

“He’s so tall and handsome!” Tula squealed, headfin lashing behind her head.

“And responsible! Looking after the Seabed Inn along with all his princely duties,” chirped Tona, conveniently leaving out how the inn continued to have lackluster business at best. Link had to wonder if he was the only frequent customer, and Kodah kept the inn open entirely for his benefit.

Laruta spun between them, a fledgling part of the fan club whom the two older Zora doted on as if their own daughter. “He’s the best of the best! I keep seeing him hunting every single day, catching bigger and bigger fish!”

Link nodded to that as well. Sidon’s been using him as his culinary guinea pig, or maybe to see if there was an end to Link’s bottomless appetite. Link didn’t see him during the day too often, be it because he’s busy collecting information or Sidon is attending a meeting, but by night he’d wearily drag himself back to the inn where Sidon will have some new cuisine for him to try.

“I’ve seen him talking to Dento too! What if he’s asking to have a sapphire made?”

At that Link remembered what the prince said about fixing one of his ornaments or whatnot, back when Link first began his funny business. He felt he shouldn’t let the girls get their hopes up, but he didn’t feel like intruding on their loud conversation.

Speaking of sapphires Link still hadn’t given Sidon the one he promised he would. The one still burning a hole in his pack.

-

He’s found many a sapphires during his time, at first selling them for rupees or collecting to increase his armor. He never considered getting Sidon a sapphire until after the Calamity was gone, going through Zelda’s old copies of stories that told of a Zora princess gifting a Hylian a sapphire. Immediately he had decided to get one for the prince.

Not just any one. He’s gone all around Hyrule thrice over but none of the gemstones really caught his fancy, nothing deserving to be adorned on a prince at least. He’d taken a break in the newly formed Tarrey town, talking to Rhondson about this or that until his eyes caught Pelison laying out some new wares.

Immediately he excused himself to walk over, focused on a particular blue stone.

It was a sapphire, that much was true, a deep blue that held no imperfections, a beauty in its own right. But that wasn’t what drew the hero’s attentions.

In the center was a large white star, six points branching out from the center like an eye.

“That’s a special find,” Pelison explained, “It’s called a star pattern, doesn’t happen often.”

Already Link was pulling out the required rupees, pushing them to the Goron child and holding the gem up to the light, watching as the sapphire seemed to wink back at him.

“Beautiful,” he whispered, unheard to anyone around him but the rock in his hand.

This was it. This was the one.

-

Link is brought back to the present at the sound of giggling and splashing.

Laruta stood near him, ankle-deep in the water with her arms held high, fins splayed out that gave off an interesting glow when they reflected the water.

She stepped in circular motions, moving in slow, steady patterns that drew the eye back to her shimmering fins. Every few steps she’d look around as if figuring out which step to take next, but she continued undeterred until she struck one final pose, all fins splayed out similar to a peacock, scales shimmering like a shooting star.

Behind her both Tona and Tula clapped.

“That was incredible!” Tula exclaimed.

“Any Zora will fall head over fins for you!” Tona agreed. “That was a stunning dance!”

Link’s ear twitched at the word.

 _Dance?_ He tried to sign, only to be ignored when neither of them looked his way. It was always frustrating when that happened but he couldn’t blame them. Stepping closer, he made sure to wave for their attention before signing again, _Can you show me how to dance like that?_

“No!” came Laruta’s immediate reply. “This dance is for Prince Sidon alone!”

Link held back a wince. _Then could you show me a similar dance?_

“That kind of dancing is used to attract a mate,” explained Tula, “it’s not very useful if you’re not a Zora.”

“Plus you kind of need fins to perform it,” added Tona, looking down at Link’s lack of scales.

 _I understand…_ Link tried to not appear too crestfallen. He really shouldn’t have interrupted, basically asking Sidon’s fan club for help in seducing him right out from under them. Maybe Gaddison or Guvre would know.

Tona bit her lower lip, glancing at Tula and giving a jerk of her head. Tula shook her head, but soon gave in to her friend’s silent please. She sighed, a long exhale from her gills that sounded like rushing water.

“Fine, we’ll teach you what we can. You’re such a funny Hylian, you know that Link?”

He brightened up at that, looking to the Zora with hopeful eyes.

Laruta pouted still. “Hmph, just don’t expect us to go easy on you just because you’re a hero.”

Link grinned toothily at that. _Hit me with your best shot._

-

Sidon was having a tiring week.

Looking after the Seabed Inn should be a vacation to him. Nothing to do except stand behind a counter and wait for a tired traveller to come by, show them to a bed and store their belongings until it’s time to wake them up and send them on their way.

Aside from the few meetings he had to tend to, primarily updates on their increasing positive relations with the Hylians, Sidon was left to his own devices for the rest of the day. He could swim up as many waterfalls as he wanted, or dive to the bottom of East Reservoir Lake to look for pearls. If he was feeling particularly smug he could even take a nap in the sun.

Even his best friend, Link, had been staying for the entire week. He should be over the moon to spend time with the hero.

But then again, that was the problem.

Link had done just about everything _except_ spend time with Sidon. The only times Sidon saw him were when he’d come to the inn to crash, snoring away until the sun woke him up and he was back out terrorizing the local fauna. He wouldn’t even tell Sidon where he went or what he did.

Did the prince do something to put space between himself and Link?

Sidon exhaled through his gills, stirring chunks of minced snail meat in the cooking pot. He was getting very skilled at cooking, even if he wasn’t too enthused by everything he made.

Link enjoyed it and that mattered far more.

The prince couldn’t help but smile as he imagined the hero’s face lighting up whenever he took the first bite. It made all those cooking lessons worthwhile.

Loud shrieking alerted Sidon, flinching as he tried to find the source of the noise. It was coming from somewhere above him on the second tier of the Domain, at first piercing and shrill before dissolving into a gaggle of high-pitched squeals.

Sidon felt his shoulders sink. It was the sound of his fanclub.

The girls were very nice, always offering him hand-crafted meals and bracelets of silver and opals, but he couldn’t bring himself to accept any of them. No matter the number of times he’s softly turned them down they never lost faith that one day their efforts would pay off.

How could he break it to them that he’s already picked a pearl?

Another ear-splitting caterwaul pulled Sidon out of his musings. They were being awfully loud.

He lowered the heat of the pot before standing up to go confront them, understanding the absolute act of irony he was performing by asking someone else to hush.

Making his way up the stairs Sidon planned all the words he was prepared to say, yet let every single one fall back into his mouth at the sight that greeted him.

-

Laruta was right when she said they wouldn’t go easy on him.

The dance demanded full bodily movement, undulating like a wave that smoothed out into a tranquil glide, then cresting high as if rushing up a waterfall. Each action told a story, every movement a precise placement. It explained why Laruta would often pause before her next step.

“You’re not reaching high enough.”

“No, bend your body further.”

“Don’t step there! Try again!”

Along with many other instructions that piled higher and higher Link had trouble keeping track of them all. Just after an hour he was covered in sweat and felt his sidebangs plastered to his cheeks.

 _Break, break_ , he pleaded, plopping down in defeat.

“It’d be easier if he had fins,” muttered Tula. “It’s harder to position his arms without them.”

“And he isn’t shiny at all,” groused Laruta.

“Or wearing much jewelry,” sighed Tona, the one with the most sympathy. “Maybe if you had a necklace or something on your wrist we could help you better.”

An idea sprung into Link’s head at that, quickly grabbing his Sheikah slate and fiddling with the screen.

Why didn’t he think of it sooner? He didn’t have fins or scales or a tail but he certainly could impersonate those traits with clothing. With a flash of light his tunic and trousers were replaced with flowing silks and golden bangles, triumphant smirk hidden by the veil covering the lower half of his face.

The Zora’s expressions were priceless, especially Laruta whose wide eyes and mouth seemed to take up her entire face.

“You look like a princess!” she cooed, all hostility dissolving at the pretty Hylian before her.

“Why didn’t you tell us you had such an outfit!” squealed Tula.

“Amazing, Link, absolutely fantastic!” cheered Tona.

Chugging a stamina elixir Link signed, _Alright, I’m ready. Let’s continue_.

It felt a lot easier to move in the vai outfit, the thin silk allowing him to bend and arch to his fullest. The silk mimicked the reflection of scales from the water, assured by Tona that it’ll look even better against luminous stones at night, accentuated by the golden bangles around his wrists and hips.

“Gold’s not the preferred metal but it definitely looks good on you,” said Tula, stepping around Link to fully observe his outfit. “It makes your eyes look even bluer in comparison.”

“Here, here, do like what I’m doing,” urged Laruta. She arched her chest out, one leg pushed back while her little arms stretched above to make a circle above her head.

Link copied her, the two falling into a routine of Laruta dancing and Link following along. The two were cheered on by Tula and Tona excitedly, a bit further back Mei shouting a compliment in Link’s direction.

He felt he should be embarrassed by that but soon Tula and Tona were joining them, and he forgot entirely what his original goal from this was.

Link notices it a moment too late, bowing his body back as far as he can physically push it, arm held up that the bangle slides down his forearm, and head thrown back to give that pose one final push. It had to have been his best arch yet, a delighted grunt slipping from his mouth as he glanced over for Tula’s approval.

Instead he sees Sidon’s wide-eyed stare, realizing that all the encouraging cheering had gone dead silent in the prince’s presence.

Link stared back, unable to process any other reaction.

“Uh,” he tries, “Hi there?”

Out of the few times his voice manages to work it had to be during this very moment. Or perhaps Link is so stunned in place he forgets how to use sign language.

After what feels like an eternity of silence and staring, it’s Sidon who breaks the tension.

He makes an abrupt, snorting noise from his gills, similar to what bulls would do before they charged, accompanied by a deep rumbling snarl falling out of his throat. Tona let out a gasp at that, covering her face with her hands as Tula simply falls to the ground, fainted and beyond recovery. Laruta runs off crying for her mother.

Link winces. He must have seriously pissed Sidon off now.

And, like the Champion of Hyrule, the man who was chosen by the Master Sword, and wielder of the Spirit of Courage, Link grabbed his slate and picked a shrine to run away to.

He didn’t dare open his eyes until he was sure he’d teleported away. The harsh sun of the desert greeted him, along with the tall walls of Gerudo Town.

He exhaled the breath he’d been holding.

Time to buy some Noble Pursuit.

-

Fishing? Going well but compared to what Sidon can catch he doubts he’ll be able to present anything acceptable.

Jewelry and armor? Lynels took way too long to hunt, not to mention even pulling up the self-esteem to hand something like that over.

Dancing? A mess.

Link considered giving up, he really did. Or at least he wanted to give up on tiptoeing around Sidon’s presence. It wasn’t fair to the guy who looks so happy to see him, only to be told over and over that he had other plans.

It was much simpler when Link would come to the Domain to swim, or catch frogs for the kids, or go shopping, or just talk to Sidon.

He’s been there a whole week and hadn’t had a real talk with him the entire time.

Link was a bad friend.

A bad friend with a bottle of Noble Pursuit.

He warps back through the Ne’ez Yohma shrine. No more hiding. He was going straight for what he wants.

Finding Sidon is the easy part, he’s been stuck in Seabed Inn.

Link saunters in like he hadn’t fled the prince a mere two hours ago, crying to Riju to buy him more alcohol, and then when he was refused, bribing whoever will listen to buy it for him instead.

Sidon sits in front of the cooking pot, stirring halfheartedly at something that smells delicious like it always does. Seriously, who taught that guy to cook? Link would fall for his culinary skills alone if he wasn’t already sickenly in love to begin with.

Upon hearing someone enter Sidon lifted his head but didn’t look over. “Hello there. A normal bed is twenty rupees while the soft water bed is eighty.” His tone was listless, mind obviously on other things.

Link padded over, still wearing the vai outfit so his slippers moved soundlessly against the floor. He coughed, getting Sidon’s attention, watching gold eyes widen at seeing the hero.

 _How much for the clam chowder?_ He inquired, pointing a finger to the creamy stew.

“Link! Link?” Sidon bends forward as if he can’t even believe it’s him. “I was so certain I had scared you off! He-here, the chowder’s free of course, I had made it for your dinner tonight. Oh, allow me!”

He stood quickly, bumping the top of his head against a luminous stone lodged into the ceiling, before speeding off to prepare everything.

Link grinned, amused at the antics as he took his usual seat in front of a table. Already he felt the weight lifting, a voice in his head telling him he should’ve know Sidon would welcome him back with wide, open arms.

A bowl is set before him, clanking loudly against the table, contents sloshing so hard they nearly spill. Sidon pulls his hand back quickly, expression apprehensive, as if Link was going to run away at the slightest provocation.

Link smiles up at the prince before gesturing for him to sit down. _Take a seat_.

“Are you certain?” He sounded so unsure. That wouldn’t do.

 _Take a seat, Sidon_.

The prince obeys instantaneously, seating himself in the too-small chairs and still towering over the Hylian.

Link put his hands together happily before signing, _We should talk_.

“I agree,” says Sidon, “but I implore you to try the chowder first. Perhaps after a full meal we’ll be able to think this through rationally.”

Link considered this before acquising, peeking at Sidon’s empty plate. _What are you going to eat?_

“I’m sure I can buy something from Marot Mart,” he says, making a move to get up and do just that.

**_WHAMP!_ **

Link steadies his chowder from spilling, other hand still holding the Sheikah slate up.

On Sidon’s plate, nearly crushing the plate it landed on, was a large staminoka bass. It’d been the best thing Link’s been able to catch so far.

 _Eat_ , he signs, picking up a spoon and bringing the chowder to his lips.

Sputtering, all Sidon can do is murmur a soft ‘thank you’ as he picks up the bass to take a bite of it.

They eat in near silence, only the sound of the rising moon and splashing waterfalls to give them company. Without speaking Link sets his newly acquired bottle of Noble Pursuit on the table, cap loosened and a small portion of the contents missing. Sidon does not miss this fact.

He clears his throat, dragging Link’s piercing gace back up to him. “I am terribly sorry if I’ve been such a terrible friend these past few days. I know we are not tied at the fins, and yet I’ve had relentlessly tried to push myself into your schedule despite having my own duties and responsibilities. I’ve been clingy and overbearing, and for that I am deeply sorry.”

Link swallowed the mouthful of chowder, absolutely baffled by what Sidon had said. He thought this was all _his_ fault? Not Link’s? Goddess, he was too good for him.

_No. No, you have no reason to be sorry. I’ve been the one avoiding you._

“Why is that?” Sidon asked softly, hands reaching to take Link’s but refraining, knowing he needs them to speak. “Whatever it is I have done, I will right it no matter what it costs.”

 _Are you sure? It’s sort of something you can’t take back_. Link sucked in a breath, prepared to finally lay it all out on the table.

“Anything! I’ll do anything! So _please_ ,” begged the prince, looking so distraught and full of penitence, “Tell me what I’ve done to hurt you, my dearest, truest, most treasured friend!”

In for a rupee…

Link moved his hands slowly, keeping his gaze on Sidon’s as he made sure he signed every word perfectly.

 _I love you_.

He waits then, one hand still pointed at Sidon as the weight of his truth sunk into the both of them.

Perhaps if Sidon kicks him out of the Domain he can at least pretend it was the Noble Pursuit messing with his head.

“You love me?” Sidon whispers finally, and Link can’t tell if that’s a good or bad sign at how quiet he was.

 _I do. For a while I have, and I wasn’t going to tell you until after I defeated the Calamity. It’s why I haven’t been spending time with you. I’ve been all over the Domain asking other Zora how to officially court you_ . He let out a dry chuckle at that, a self-depreciating gesture. _It’s been a week and I still have absolutely nothing to show for it except a sapphire I found awhile ago._

“A sapphire?” Sidon hovered close, the blacks of his eyes growing larger. “May I see it?”

Link reached down to where he stored the precious stone away, pulling it out and setting it in Sidon’s waiting palm, careful their fingers didn’t brush. As Sidon marvelled at the smooth stone Link continued.

 _I bought it before I even knew that Zora had their own courting. Fishing, jewelry, dancing – duelling even. I kept trying, thinking I’d have a chance if I did all these things, but in the end I’m not a Zora. I can’t give you my teeth or scales, I’m not tall or regal-looking; I’m not a good swimmer even_ with _magical armor. I’m just a guy with a sword._

A clawed hand reaches under the hero’s chin, tipping his head up to meet Sidon’s molten gaze.

“You are far, far more than what you say you are. And I accept your marriage proposal. I love you too.”

Link is filled with so much giddiness it takes him a stunted second to process what Sidon just said. _Marriage proposal?_ Laflat did say something about gifts being high up there on the list of things to give, but certainly some food and a rock weren’t going to win Sidon over that easily?

It’s Sidon’s turn to grin, finally freed from all the grief that’s been eating him up inside. “In Zora culture, way back when, a Zora princess had given a sapphire to the man she hoped to marry, and since then it’s been sapphires that have represented a desire to wed. So to a Zora you have essentially proposed to me. And I accept it.”

That was certainly not in the book he read, though it had been so old he couldn’t even make out most of the passages. At Link’s shock Sidon quickly amended, “Unless you do not wish it! Excuse my hastiness on the matter, I’d be more than happy to be courted. We can talk about marriage some other time!”

Heat washed over Link’s face. He fumbled out a, _Eat your fish first_ , before diving back into his clam chowder before it completely cooled. Giving a meal was part of Zora courting, and eating all of it was a sign of returned affections.

It was funny, it reminded him of how Sidon had cooked for him just about every single day–

Link blinked.

He was an even bigger idiot, resolving to licking the bowl clean. Hell, he was going to lick that whole cooking pot clean.

 _Did you take up cooking just to please me?_ Sidon had admitted he didn’t fancy cooked food, yet every single day he was bending over backwards to make something.

“Was it that obvious?” Sidon wondered, taking another bite of his fish. He could probably snap the thing up in a couple bites but instead took time savoring it.

 _More like I’m just a dense rock,_ lamented the hero. _I’ll be sure to appreciate every single dish properly, now that I know what it’s meant for._

“I would say you do more than enough by just indulging me, even if you had no idea of the romantic intentions. Seeing your delighted face is in itself a treasure far greater than one of Naydra’s scales,” said Sidon, and Link was sure there was a halo above his head while an angelic choir sung in the distance. “Knowing you accept my feelings only makes me wish to craft even finer meals for you to enjoy.”

With every kind word Sidon spoke he further ruined Link.

 _You’re an absolute gem_ , Link signed, feeling so dangerously light-headed he feared he might float away. He smiled, leaning over the table and staring up at Sidon from beneath his lashes. _I’m going to fucking eat you up_.

That familiar snorting came from between the prince’s gills, what Link had believed to be anger from before. He worried he’d crossed a line perhaps, that he was jumping the gun.

Sidon’s eyes had turned to large bleak obsidians, the gold merely a frail ring at the edges that kept the Hylian hostage.

 _Too bold?_ Link questioned, swallowing.

Another exhale of breath. Sidon’s voice became dangerously low. “No, in fact I welcome it, my dear.” Goosebumps exploded across Link’s skin at the term of endearment. “With all the flirting you’ve been engaging in with everyone else but me, I believe my turn is long overdue.”

 _Well_ , Link fumbled, fingers stumbling all over themselves, _well it wasn’t really flirting._

“Oh, no. Not to me it wasn’t.” A soft growl pulled itself from the usually non-threatening prince, features growing far more like the apex predator he is. If there wasn’t a table between them Link was sure he’d face the real possibility of being eaten. 

An idea he wasn’t all opposed to.

Sidon made the table appear miniscule as he loomed closer, the frills on his shoulders flaring and biceps tensing, a smile devoid of playfulness showing off every angular teeth in his massive pair of jaws. “Giving fish to Mei, a married woman, holding hands with Tottika and galavanting off to Veiled Falls in secret. I tried my hardest to ignore these signs, hoping and praying they weren’t what my cruel imaginations told me. You even accepted a bracelet from Laflat and danced with _both_ Tula and Tona. To a Zora you’ve been showing your fins to just about everybody here.”

He saw all that? Link hastily tried to explain all of it, but his hands just weren’t working. They sat frozen in front of him, rendered starstruck prey before the prince’s dominance.

“And yet,” he continued, a little kindness seeping back into his tone, a little gold returning to the black, “realizing you did all of this for me makes everything else forgiven in an instant.”

Link swallowed thickly again. Goddess, he didn’t think Sidon being feral would be so hot, but everything about the prince was so dick-strangling attractive.

 _I didn’t take you to be the jealous type_ , he mussed, flexing his fingers to make them finally work again.

“I am very much the jealous type when it comes to this.” Sidon finally stood, though he was still bent forward, stalking around the table to corner Link in his chair. He gestured to the finished dishes. “Your gifts? Mine.” A large webbed hand came up to frame his head, barely touching him even as he could feel the heat emanating from those palms. “Your dances? Mine.” Grabbing the sapphire, Sidon held it up between them, voice a barely concealed snarl. “Your love? All mine.”

Link bit his bottom lip, unable to contain his manic smile. He was sure his lungs were going to burst.

“And,” Link whispered, loving the way Sidon’s eyes dissolved into empty pits at the sound of his scratchy voice, “ what is mine?”

“Everything. Every single piece of me is already given to you, my love. From the very moment I saw you. It’s yours without hesitation.”

That was so damn sugary sweet. Link reiterates that he does not deserve Sidon.

(Maybe Goddess Hylia isn’t such a bitch afterall.)

He wanted to ask something else, but he coughed when he tried to say it. Damn this broken voice of his. Instead Link ruefully leaned back to put his hands up between them. _How much do you know about Hylian courting?_ Sidon appeared to know what hand holding was, so it paved way to other forms of affection he might be familiar with.

Sidon gave his own small chuckle, glancing away while his fins fluttered, an action Link had come to learn was a Zora’s show of embarrassment. “I read up on it, and when that proved uninsightful I asked Tottika. Hugging, holding hands, kissing, I tried to understand it all so I can properly express my devotions.”

 _Did you find any Hylians to practice on?_ He gave an amused smirk at the thought. No way would any Hylian in the right mind let an enormous shark hold their hand.

The prince shook his head. “Absolutely not. Even if I’m naive I knew I’d only ever want to experience them with either you, or never at all.”

Link stuck his tongue out. _You’re far too good to me. Here I am, throwing myself at every Zora I see, and you’ve remained chaste. This isn’t fair._

“I’ll be honest, I am not chaste at all. I, I hope that is alright with you. You will be my first Hylian, but you are not my first.”

The hero perked up at that. _Good, that means you’ll know what to do. I haven’t done it yet, or at least as far as my memory tells me I have. Too busy being a good knight, not enough space in the barracks to fuck. Wasn’t interested until now_ , he shrugged.

“Your first,” Sidon whispered, “is that really something you’ll give me?”

 _Who was it that just said everything I gave was yours?_ Link chuckled. It was amusing how considerate Sidon was no matter the circumstances.

“Yes, but think about it more, love. Not only of our species but my size. It could be dangerous to you, haven’t you learned that much?” All Link could give was a confused silence. “You… you never asked anyone about Zora mating?”

He shook his head. _No way am I asking someone how to have sex._

Sidon’s voice dropped an octave when he spoke next. “What if I taught you?”

Link licked his lips, eager. _I’ve been hoping you’d say that._ He leaned in closer, absolutely hating how far apart they’ve been even if it was to communicate. Clearing his throat he urged his voice out, needing the prince and the heavens to hear him. “Ki…ki, kiss, kiss me. Kiss me, Sidon, kiss me, kiss me!”

His urging was immediately rewarded. Sidon tilted his head and dove forward, pressing his lips hotly against Link’s and letting out a guttural moan that the Hylian swallowed in turn.

Hell yeah.

Link wrapped his arms around Sidon’s neck, bringing him closer and closer until he nearly toppled over in his chair backwards, Sidon’s hand wrapping around his entire torso to keep him from falling.

 _Hell yeah_.

When they parted Link knew his entire face and shoulders were flushed, a crazy smile stretched from ear to ear. Even when he had defeated Calamity Ganon he’d never felt so _alive_. Mostly he had felt tired, unable to believe he managed such a feat, even now only able to recall it as some distant fever dream. But this?

This had nothing to do with being the Champion of Hyrule, of anything a hundred years ago. This was here and now, and Zelda was absolutely right.

He wasn’t going to get any younger.

 _Let’s go to your room_. He must be crazy to suggest such a thing, but Sidon sucked in a quick breath so it was worth it.

“Ar-are you sure? We’ve only officially agreed to court, and we don’t even know if it’ll work.” That was so sweet Link could have cried. But no. He wanted to lose his virginity to a ten-foot tall sharkman.

Link spelled it out for Sidon. _I want whatever your species call a dick to be balls deep inside my asshole_.

The esteemed Prince of the Zora’s eyes bulged at the vulgar signs he was reading. He scooped up the bottle of Noble Pursuit, uncorking it and giving a look towards the Hylian. “May I?” At Link’s approval Sidon tossed half of it back with a gag, shaking it as if considering another hit before scrunching his eyes shut.

When he reopened them a moment later, Sidon’s gaze had returned to being blown out, the blackness giving him a more feral, animalistic appearance. “I’d be honored to share my bed with you,” he said, voice thick and barely keeping it together.

Link nodded rapidly, standing up and grabbing the hand offered to him, practically trying to yank the heavier man away. Sidon barely even budged before reaching over and scooping Link up in one arm, holding him close as he began walking.

On the way they passed Mei, who Link flashed a thumbs up at, receiving a delighted howl of congratulations, and Tottika who smirked as if he knew all along. They even passed Muzu who squinted at the pair, but could only give a long suffering sigh before hurrying off into the opposite direction as quick as his old legs could take him.

A smart move, the hero deduced; he wasn’t planning on being quiet in the slightest.


	4. This One's A Keeper

For the third time Link found his way back to Sidon’s bed.

 _You have two beds?_ He pointed to the sleeping pool in the corner, as big as one communal sleeping pool given the prince’s size. The king likely had one even bigger.

“It was a recent addition,” Sidon muttered, facing away to begin unclasping the silver that adorned his features, stowing them away in a cabinet.

But the only beds the Zora have are for non-Zora… oh. It clicked hard against Link’s skull, taking a second look at the bed he was in. It was large, that was for sure, definitely big enough for the prince and why Link had assumed he used it. There were a multitude of purple and blue pillows at the head, each one too small for Sidon to use.

They were the perfect size for Link though.

He grabbed one and cuddled it, enjoying the silky sensation of the fabric and plush firmness of the material inside. He was positive they were all waterproof too.

The sheets were also something Zora had no use for. Their skin was far thicker, several layers of fat and muscle for the cold water of Lanayru in the winter seasons, when the rivers would freeze and travel was difficult. No, these sheets were entirely for a Hylian, not the thin silk of the Gerudo or the thick wool of the Rito. Link examined it further and found it was a teal color, more greenish than the ocean hues of the Zora Domain.

He silently marvelled at the fact Sidon remembered his favorite color.

The mattresses’s weight shifted as Sidon finally came over and sat down at the edge. He studied the scene before him with a sharp look, as if he was etching it into his memory for eternity. Link smiled, waiting for him to finish, continuing to nuzzle against the pillow he held. He’d have to ask Sidon if he could borrow one when he leaves.

“So,” the Zora Prince began slowly, “we are about to explore new territory together, my dearest Link. I will tell you everything I know while you can tell me everything you know, and perhaps we can meet in the middle. I am willing to go as far as you’ll let me, but if it is not meant to be then know I will never force you to do anything. Having you here with me is more than I ever had the courage to ask for.”

Link’s only response is to begin taking his pants off.

The vai outfit is nice and all but he only had one, and getting it messy would make it hard to bribe old Gerudo women for alcohol. Speaking of alcohol, Sidon had thankfully brought the Noble Pursuit with him, settled on the nightstand nearby.

If things don’t go well he’ll at least have alcohol.

“I’ve daydreamed about you,” he confessed, refusing to look at Sidon or he’ll lose his nerve. It was hard to speak about these things, but in a one-on-one conversation he’ll manage. “Whenever it rained, I thought of you. How handsome you are, how kind, how supportive. It made things easier. To picture me coming back to you. I wanted it to be real.”

He discarded the scarf around his head, slipping every ring of gold off his wrist and made sure Sidon watched them fall to the floor like stars fragments.

“Thought of.” Biting his lip Link wondered how much he’ll damn himself. “Thought of your muscles. Strong, big arms. Tall as a lynel, teeth like knives. But kind to me. So, so kind. A-and super handsome.”

A chuckle. “You already said handsome.”

“Super, _super_ handsome,” pressed the Hylian, ears fluttering. “Champion of Handsome!”

Those handsome hands pulled him back against a firm, handsome chest, allowing Link to feel the vibrations as Sidon’s laughter rumbled through them.

Sidon curled around him, like Link had done the pillows previously. “You flatter me so. Putting forth so much effort I could melt in it. Nothing I hear could ever be sweeter than when it comes from your lips, my dearest, most sincere, absolutely amazing Link.”

There was no competition. Compared to how Sidon complimented him, even back when they first met, Link’s attempt at praise fell far too short to do the prince justice.

It felt like he’d been engulfed in a fiery chuchu, every portion of skin in contact with Sidon’s leaving scorching hot joy in its wake. He wiggled in Sidon’s grasp, turning around just enough to pout and sign, _So when are you going to show me your dick?_

That definitely caused the laugh to die in Sidon’s throat, once again the intimate setting being brought to the forefront.

“It may be easier if we move to a more suitable position.” Sidon rearranged them, though he refused to let go of Link as he settled himself against the myriad of pillows, the hero settled on his chest like a baby otter.

“As you may have guessed, we Zora do not keep our parts on the outside. Aside from being dangerous it is seen as improper. We do have phalluses though.” Sidon directed Link’s attentions down between his legs, a smooth expanse of creamy white scales.

Link leaned forward, hands taught as if about to catch an elusive fairy. Then, he paused and turned back around.

_Phalluses?_

Sidon blinked. “Yes. Two. Is that not normal for Hylian?”

He didn’t receive a reply, forcefully sucking in the next breath as Link’s entire palm slid to the base of his crotch, intent on seeing it with his own eyes. “Oh, oh _Link_.” What a great response. It was so good that Link rubbed his hand over the spot with more pressure, rewarded by a bitten-back groan from his dear prince.

The soft scales of Sidon’s underside became more tender, relenting pliantly beneath his explorative touches. It was interesting as the more Link caressed the more he felt movement beneath the skin, and the harsher Sidon breathed. Link’s own breathing become labored, hitching at the sight of what looked like fluid dribbling out from a pinkened slit where a cock would be.

Drawn by a magical force, or more like his own depravity, Link leaned down so he could watch the bead of murky white liquid pearl up. He wondered what it would taste like.

As if knowing exactly where the Hylian’s dirty mind was wandering, Sidon sat up on his forearms, wide pupils catching a glimpse of Link’s pink tongue sticking out. “Wai-wait, Link!” A large hand caught him by the hip, giving a squeeze, but already it was too late as Link dragged his tongue over the opening to lap up the liquid.

It was watery, with a slight tangy tartness to it. Not bad, noted the Hylian, bending his head down for another taste. He didn’t get far as two pair of claws dug into his hip bones, tugging him back right as that slit flowered open. A pair of long tapered muscles pushed out, thicker than Link’s arm and just as long. They were coral in color while being redder at the ends, a collection of ridges lining each underside. The tips were the most interesting part, the one closest to Link tapering to a thin point, several odd fleshy notches at the top while the lower one rounded off into a thicker, blunter point, a series of veins branching the impressive length.

Link stared, raking his eyes up and down each shaft. He can’t say he’s seen too many a schlong in his days but these were in a league all of their own. They would win the schlong olympics through participation alone.

“I suppose I should explain what you’re looking out.” Sidon cleared his throat. He pulled Link to sit up in his lap, gesturing with his free hand as if a teacher. “We Zora all have the same set of genitalia, even though they differ in looks the general functions are the same. This is due to the fact Zora actually have a wide range of subtypes, evolved from aquatic creatures and giving us all our unique appearances. It is why I look so different compared to Muzu; he is an eagle ray while I am a hammerhead shark. I’m sure you already know but the black-scaled Zora such as Tottika and Bazz have orca characteristics.”

 _Tell me more about the dicks in particular_. He’d endure a history lesson later, when he isn’t preoccupied with two girthy spears of Zora virility.

Sidon sputtered taking the hint. With a sigh and a shiver he leaned back against the headboard, the topmost cock actually stretching towards Link like a tentacle, its form curling as if giving a wave.

Link reached forth to touch it, finding the texture nice and smooth, a layer of slick fluid already coating the head. It wrapped around his hand like an eel, the nodules moving on their own to latch onto his forefinger.

“That,” breathed Sidon, “is the one that lays eggs.”

Link froze, lips mere centimeters away from putting the thing in his mouth.

 _Eggs_? As in E-E-G-S? As in the thing Zora and cuckoo are born from?

He stared down at the dick, realizing how it just ruined eggs for him forever.

A small price to pay for blowing greatness, he concluded, throwing inhibitions to the wind and opening his mouth wide.

Once again hands were grabbing at him, this time pulling him around so he turned to face Sidon. “What are you doing?” His tone wasn’t accusing, perhaps more apprehensive.

 _I was going to put your penis in my mouth_. Call it a bad habit but Link never could resist putting things there, damn the consequences.

Sidon blanched. “Why would you do such a thing?”

Oh, right, Zora and their pointy sharp teeth. Blowjobs are probably considered some form of medieval torture.

 _To taste it_ , was the best answer Link could give, shrugging. _I’ve heard tons of sex stories during my travels, and my favorite one was oral._ He sidled up closer by Sidon’s head, pointing to the other phallus. _Anyways, what does the other do?_

Sidon didn’t look entirely convinced at the change of topic but relented. “The lower one is used to fertilize the eggs. It produces large quantities of semen.”

That was more what Link was accustomed to. He eyed it, noting that it did look more like the Hylian phallus. Speaking of…

 _How many penises do you think I have?_ Call it childish but he wanted to make the Zora prince guess.

Even Link was surprised at what he found when he first pulled down his compression shorts, having to take a second to get used to it. He explored around Hyrule and heard many a tales of mighty bananas and long serpents, but when he compared it to his own he came up empty.

“I know for a fact Hylians only have one,” Sidon said proudly, only to blink when Link shook his head. “Bu-but that’s what Tottika and even Muzu have told me. Are you saying they can grow a second one? _A third?_ ”

The poor prince seemed to be reeling at the possibility of the hero possessing three master swords, muttering things like “Of course the legendary hero would be special even in that department” and “Is it like a hydra? What purpose does the third head serve?” before Link’s barely suppressed wheezing brought him back to attention.

He decided to stop stringing Sidon along, holding up a single hand that signed, _Zero_.

“Zero...” Gold eyes landed straight to Link’s crotch. “May I see?”

 _You can do more than look_. Link shot him a cheeky wink as he finally began to shimmy out of his last article of clothing. No fanfare, no attempt to draw the action out, just one leg out followed by the second one, the shorts thrown off to the side to land somewhere irrelevant.

The skin there was distinctly paler than the rest of him, probably since he didn’t take them off often. He waited, legs spread so the prince could see every inch of him.

With Link’s silent nod of consent, Sidon allowed one hand to rest on a thigh, thumb caressing the scars that ran down its length and criss-crossed the skin. His eyes held questions, implorations of how each scar fell into flesh, and while Link would love to tell him the story of his body, he had a different use for his hands tonight.

Clawed hands glided upwards, mindful of the sharp points. Link wondered if he could convince Sidon to press them in harder.

His train of impure thoughts skids to a halt, breath hitching when Sidon finally reached the center. His thumb pressed into the plump mound and a burst of giddiness shot through Link’s spine.

“It’s similar to Zora, are you sure a cock does not come out of this?” Sidon further rearranged them so he could inspect closer, draping Link’s legs over his shoulders, nearly upturning the smaller man while his free hand kept him from falling. It was a tad embarrassing to be frank, but knowing how easily Sidon could pick him up made it a worthy sacrifice.

 _No. I’ve tried, it’s just a hole_. He was about to further explain to Sidon what Zelda had told him, how it was called a vagina, and they were predominantly found on females, but both hands shook, entire body spasming when Sidon used the pads of his middle and forefinger to spread the opening apart.

A choked sound escaped him, causing Sidon to immediately snatch his hand away and bring Link closer. “Did I hurt you?”

Link could only give a hazy grin, fingers wobbling to sign his reassurance.

 _Do that again_.

-

Sidon had been unwilling to trim his claws, not wishing to put a dangerous weapon inside of a very delicate place.

He made up for it by using his tongue.

After some more preamble, mostly of Link trying to recall what Zelda explained in his less-than-professional manner, Sidon seemed to understand what he was dealing with. It took some convincing here and there, but Sidon was so endearingly willing and Link was so incredibly horny.

It helped when Sidon realized Link made a lot of noise when stimulated, his princely reservations falling to the wayside to pluck out more enticing moans from the Hylian.

Of all the times Link has explored himself even he didn’t realize how loud he could get, but then again he’s never had help like this before. Sidon ate him out like he was one of his meals, long blue tongue wondrously lapping at everywhere on the outside, paying special attention to swirling around that sensitive nub at the top that had Link’s toes curling, before sliding inside to make the hero see stars.

A low pressure was already building, that fiery heat causing his whole body to flush and perspire. Arching his back Link ground his hips closer against that sinuous tongue, head tilting back so that when he opened his eyes he was met with a familiar friend.

Sidon’s upper dick seemed to be drawn to him, its owner inadvertently controlling it through his base desires, the thin head weeping that same watery fluid from before.

Glancing back Link found Sidon was busy, the hero licking his lips at the perfect opportunity to continue what he started.

Twisting slightly Link reached out a hand, fascinated at how the length seemed to slither over like a snake. He felt Sidon halt in his ministrations, and before the prince could figure out what Link was planning, he opened his mouth wide and enveloped the waiting cock in the warm heat of his throat.

A harsh ragged breath hit his crotch as nails dug into the meat of his leg, eliciting a deep groan from the hero.

The cock in his mouth wriggled around his own tongue, each small feeler pressing against a different part, the tip even spurting more of that fluid against the inside of his cheek. It tingled lightly before Link realized it numbed his mouth, a noise of surprise at the discovery.

He’s pulled off before he can tell if that’s a good or bad thing, once again sitting on Sidon’s chest.

“Am I going to have to gag you so you don’t go putting things you shouldn’t in your mouth?” Sidon’s tone was only half-joking.

 _Depends. Can you gag me with your huge dick?_ Sidon rolled his eyes even as Link felt a shiver run up the prince’s spin. _My mouth’s numb from the precum. Is that supposed to happen?_

Sidon shook his head, noting how saliva coated most of Link’s chin, a thin droplet hanging off waiting to fall. “Yes, that’s why I’ve been adamant about keeping you away from that one. In order to open up the womb and lay eggs the topmost phallus produces a numbing agent that works as soon as it comes into contact with skin.”

The Hylian couldn’t help but blanch. _Let’s stop using that word_.

“Which word?”

 _The e-word_.

“You mean ee-” At Link’s glare the prince surrendered quickly, “Yes, we shall. But I am curious at to what you were doing beforehand. That oral you were speaking of. It felt heavenly when you did it, and while I understand Zora are less capable of such activities, I would much like to try again.”

 _Your tongue has certainly made up for it_. Who knew Link could be this nasty and frank? He revelled in audacity; a lone man given only a mission and an entire world to explore, he was bound to evolve into some type of madness out there. Further stifled by his voice, he had to become direct to get his meanings across.

Really, it was a miracle Sidon returned any part of his affections.

“I certainly have never considered this one of its uses. I believe I will have to reconsider its specialties.”

They both had a chuckle at that, but Sidon’s grew fainter and fainter as Link slid further and further down his long torso. Link nestled himself between those stocky, powerful thighs, loving how he had to look past the monstrous lengths in front of him to see Sidon’s flushed face.

 _I want to ask you something_. He trailed a finger up the length of the lower cock, noticing it was less flexible and shorter, but also much firmer.

“Anything, ask me anything,” hissed out from Sidon’s teeth, a tongue darting out to lick his lips. Or, to taste who had just been there recently.

Link grinned, dirty and proud of that fact. _I want you to do that thing you did at the inn. That predatory look in your eyes, your voice. How you told me I was yours. Those teeth and those claws, my dearest love, I want you to be less gentle with me. I want everything._ For emphasis he took hold of Sidon’s dick, biting his lower lip when his fingertips weren’t even close to touching.

“Is that what you truly desire?” The hero only answered by kissing the tip of Sidon’s cock before placing it in his mouth, direct eye contact held the entire way.

Immediately the room got several degrees hotter.

That bull-like huffing filled the air again, only this time Link knew what it was. It was raw and primal, making his heartbeat race faster in response. In turn he continued to leisurely suck on what was in his mouth, bobbing his head back and forth while his hands worked on the rest. The precum from this one was also different, easing the glide until he felt the head reach the back of his throat. There was still so much left but Link wasn’t deterred, making sure to pay the utmost attention to what he could manage.

Above, the second phallus was whipping around, as if enraged it’d been passed up for its shorter version. It curled into Link’s messy hair and he had to hold onto it, pumping it in short, tight strokes to appease it. Sidon tasted amazing, and Link was positive he was _absolutely_ going to eat him up, slick thighs clenching together with a growing need.

His own satisfaction could wait though as he began to quicken his pace, wanting to see Sidon come absolutely undone from his mouth and hands alone.

“You’re so good to me,” spoke Sidon, voice having lost every ounce of concern, instead drizzling heavily over the smaller man in a smooth, even tone. “Going to such lengths, ever eager to please me. You’re so beautiful.” A heavy palm settled on the back of his head, pushing Link a few centimeters down as claws settled against his scalp. A tremble of delight courses through Link’s body, giving a pleased moan in return.

“That pretty mouth of yours too, and those battle-worn hands,” Sidon continues, combing his fingers through blond tresses. “Oh how I’ve wanted to kiss them both, nip at them and leave small bites against you to properly mark you as mine. Would you like that, Link? If I marked you?” The question was rhetorical as rather than let him answer Sidon pushed Link’s mouth further down, feeling it slip down his throat so far he had to concentrate on breathing through his nose. The stretch wasn’t painful, in fact the opposite, his own hips seeking release in the air. Hearing the prince purr in that deep dark guttural tone of his was making Link light-headed. Or maybe he was oxygen-deprived.

“Finally found something too big for your mouth?” Sidon gives a low chuckle. “I wonder if your lower mouth will have similar problems.”

Oh, no problems at all. The tongue did most of the work, and even then Link was leaking like a broken dam.

“I think I’m going to be a little rough.” It’s Link’s only warning before the hand that had previously been petting his head grabs a fistful of hair and yanks him up, lips barely touching the tip before he’s pushed back down. Again and again, giving up control so the prince can use his mouth as he saw fit, Link’s only responsibilities being to keep breathing and moan wantonly.

Link’s eyes rolled back into his head, fingers digging into Sidon’s thighs to keep him grounded. The shaft was going so far down his throat now he was making choking sounds as tears pooled at the corner of his eyes. He looked like a slut and it was wonderful.

He tried to keep his gaze on the prince, his vision fading and blurring around the edges, but he finally looked up to see Sidon. The Zora prince was snarling, one hand keeping Link on him while the other was digging into a cushion, heedless of the fabric ripping under his waning self-control. The muscles of his stomach rippled before a completely breathless whisper, “Link, I’m close. Pl-please show me what to do.”

Link felt the hand in his hair lessen its vice grip, only able to give a small whine at the loss before he felt the cock in his mouth begin swelling. He had half a mind to push the hand back, to literally choke on Sidon’s dick, but then he likely won’t let him do this again. Another time, perhaps.

For now he contented himself with pulling off, jaw distinctly sore, while both hands worked hard to earn his meal. He heard it before he saw it, Sidon letting out a roar that put lynels to shame, and then thick ropes of semen splattering against Link’s waiting face and open mouth.

He got as much as could before thickly swallowing, realizing Sidon was not exaggerating about the quantity of his semen. More and more coated him until Link had to turn his head just to breathe, feeling it splatter into his hair and coat his neck, sliding down his chest and likely staining the sheets. After a few minutes he even began counting it until it slowly ended, eyes kept firmly closed. Link wondered if he resembled a birthday cake, taking a handful from his face and scooping it into his mouth, figuring since the taste wasn’t repulsive he had no trouble eating it.

“You have got to stop eating whatever catches your fancy,” admonishes Sidon, leaned back into the pillows to catch his breath, both cocks still fully erect. Link wondered if that was also a Zora thing or just Sidon’s immense stamina. He continued to eat his fill until Sidon points for him to wash up in a nearby shower.

 _You better be ready to fuck me when I get back_ , Link says, sticking his cum-coated tongue out.

“You better be ready to get fucked then,” came the reply, causing Link to nearly trip at the fact Sidon swore unabashedly. It was erotic, and Link was already coming up with ideas of how to make him do that again.

He doesn’t wash off so much as spray the water right in his face, cleaning the thick gooey seed and hoping it won’t clog the drain before hastily towelling off and running back into Sidon’s bed. He throws himself onto it, enjoying how high he bounces before Sidon grabs a hold of him once more.

Wasting no time Link reaches up to press his lips firmly against Sidon’s, having to tilt his head to keep his nose from being smothered. He presses little smooches up the center of Sidon’s face, giving one to the sensitive pink flesh between Sidon’s face and his crest, before reclaiming the prince’s lips again with fervor. He nibbles and sucks at the plush bottom lip, eliciting a gasp that he takes advantage of by plunging his tongue in between.

Sidon is still beneath him, allowing Link to explore as much as he wants. His own longer, bluer tongue reaches out to slide against Link’s, and Link gives a grunt of approval. He wants to drown in the sea that is Sidon, let himself sink and be enveloped by him.

Mostly he wants to fuck him.

“Now.” Link’s eyes narrow with steeled determination.

It’s a slight competition over which dick he’s going to take. The upper one was tapered, providing a rather seamless glide, not to mention highly flexible. It would slightly numb him though, and looked too big to take comfortably all the way. The lower one was shorter and just as thick the entire way, and was more like the penises Link had learned of from Ashai’s ‘Voe and You’ adult classes, but it lacked the tapered head.

Eeney, meeny, miny, moe… 

Sidon easily picks up what Link is thinking about, having come to terms that Link’s plans are much more straightforward than anyone gives him credit for. “Here, I have an idea.” He places Link so he sits right above his slit, using both hands to caress his little Hylian’s torso and also keep his legs spread far apart, forelegs draped over Sidon’s thighs.

It gives Sidon’s more tentacle-like dick plenty of room, curling up and landing on Link’s stomach, slathering that watery precum all over as it began to slide down. “I can’t clip my claws, and everything else won’t be big enough,” he explained, “so I thought perhaps we can use the tip of the first one before moving on to the second.”

Brilliant. What a brilliant, smart, handsome Zora prince. Link grinned wide, nodding since his hands were busy laying atop Sidon’s, interlacing their fingers as much as the webbing would allow.

The tip reached his pussy with surprising dexterity, though Link was sure it was Sidon focusing to get it to line up. It pressed up against the entrance, causing him to shiver when the feelers touched around the folds. That reaction seemed to be a good one as Sidon pressed the tip closer and higher, earning a cry from Link when the suckling tip landed right on his clit. He squirmed but Sidon kept his legs spread, purring at the way he had the Hylian writhing against him.

He kept it up, allowing Link to become putty in his hands. With this angle of the hero Sidon can see the other man’s nipples fully erect, having noticed them before but only knew they were useless to Link. He also knew they were sensitive.

Keeping one hand on Link’s legs, the other one went to cover his entire torso, the pad of his thumb brushing a nipple almost as if on accident. The sharp intake of breath confirms Sidon’s theory, a toothy grin spreading across his face as he presses his thumb with more insistence. He’s rewarded with breathy gasps and moans.

Every part of Link feels flushed, and it isn’t long before he feels that surging coil in his stomach telling him he’s close. He tries to bring his hands up to sign, to tell Sidon he was going to blow, but he felt so high it was hard to make his fingers form the motions. “Si-Si-Si!” He hissed, trying to also throw the words out but those were even less possible. Thankfully Sidon understood him, like he always did, and slowed his movements to a halt, giving a worrying look to Link as the hero caught his breath. 

He gave him a shaky thumbs up once he could, making sure Sidon knew he did nothing wrong. _I just don’t want to cum unless it’s on your cock_ , he signed, fingers still shaking but managing to get what he wanted across. If he wasn’t wet then he most certainly was now, and Sidon’s constant growling wasn’t helping it either.

This time Link reached down to guide the tip of the dick into him, feeling no resistance thanks to its tapered head as it sunk deeper inside. It hit the end only a third of the way but Link assured Sidon it’ll accommodate all of him. _Just need to stretch it out_ , he winked, _just go slow and then we can put the other one in_.

Sidon nodded and went back to playing with Link’s nipples, leaving small scratches over the hero’s chest as his cock began to slowly fuck Link in earnest. It was definitely an interesting sensation, to have something so big there, but the secretions prevented any pain and already he watched as he swallowed more and more of Sidon.

“Oh! _O-oh!_ ” What the hell was that noise? It was him, Link realized, as he felt the end of Sidon’s cock resting squarely on his cervix, the tip pressing insistently at the closed ring of muscle while the feelers massage around it. He felt it spurt more precum, trying to slide into his womb and lay eggs most likely.

He doesn’t know why the thought is suddenly more appealing than before, but thankfully Sidon also noticed and forcefully reaches down to pull himself out. It comes out with a pop and Link grits his teeth trying not to cum right there and then.

“My apologies, I told you what it did and didn’t realize the implications.” Sidon let his dick writhe against his thigh, still gushing precum and stretching out its feelers. “I doubt I could breed you but the risk of laying… that word, is still on the table. If you feel up to it though I would very much wish to continue.”

Link nodded, blinking away tears and stars. He felt prepared, and he knew Sidon was holding back for his sake.

This time though, Link had it so it was him who laid back on the bedsheets, a pillow propped up beneath his rear as Sidon hovered over him, unsure of this new position and how much of him dwarfed the Hylian beneath. Link paid it no mind, looking up into Sidon’s large black eyes and smiling. It was all the confirmation Sidon needed as he lines himself up again, using the lower phallus and letting the upper one sit against Link’s thigh.

As expected without a tapered head, it pushes against the entrance and Link takes deep, controlled breaths. He knows Sidon isn’t even pushing that much, if at all, to keep from hurting him, so Link grips the sheets beneath him and sharply rocks his hips upwards to engulf the entire head inside. Both of them freeze there, Sidon’s hands fisting and tearing into the sheets, threatening to pop the water mattress before he forces himself to relax. His eyes are blown wide, staring unseeingly down at Link while he breathes solely through his mouth. Every tooth is on display, even the double row of teeth as his warm puffs of air cause Link’s bangs to flutter. Link for his part simply smiles wordlessly and puts a hand over Sidon’s own.

After nearly a solid minute Sidon blinks and recollects himself, giving a small laugh. “Here I am, the one with experience, and yet you’re the one comforting me through this. Amazing, Link, you’re simply amazing.”

Link puckers his lips in reply, Sidon taking the hint and leaning down to meet him. The kiss is sensual, no tongues just a deep slide of the lips with a stolen breath or two. As Sidon pulls back he nuzzles the head of his crest against Link’s cheek. “I’m going to begin moving,” he says, in the same tone he uses when he says he’s going to dive off Shatterback Point.

The pain isn’t anything compared to the pressure of it, Link feeling he’s being hollowed out and stuffed full of Sidon’s throbbing cock. It punches out his throat and he forgets to breath, legs hanging limply over Sidon’s thighs as the Zora prince continues to ease into him. He bottoms out soon enough, pushing Link up the bed with a startled grunt.

He looks down and sees a part of his stomach bulging out from below his bellybutton. Sidon isn’t entirely inside, perhaps a couple inches still left, but Link considers this a resounding success.

It’s only when Sidon actually begins pulling back out that he cums.

Maybe it’s the sensation of his muscles clenching down, or the fact Sidon’s other dick had slid over so it smooths against his clit and rubs its ridges right over it, but Link cums hard.

Every muscle tenses, his hands shooting up to grapple at the pillow behind his head, desperate to hold onto something. His vision splits and goes sideways, and he probably sounds like a squealing bokoblin with the gargled noise he’s making.

Sidon takes that as his cue to speed up, leaning down to cage Link’s form between his arms as he strokes into him with steady motions.

The room feels hot, way too hot, and the sheet clings to his back as he’s fucked into it. Link knows there are tears streaming down his cheeks and he’s wailing like he’s being gutted, but he’s still cumming and Sidon is still moving and it’s all too much.

It’s exactly what he wanted.

When he can manage he slams his hips up to meet Sidon’s thrusts, loving the way he can feel it shockwave throughout his whole body. Link wasn’t going to be able to walk after this and he grinned at the thought. Sidon plunges in like a bull, or a lynel, hell probably like all three of them, with raw powerful grunts and precise hip-movements that don’t throw Link right up off the bed but drive him further into the mattress, the bed groaning at the activity taking place on it. His eyes have been open the entire time, soaking in the image of the Champion of Hyrule losing his mind.

Link cums again and screams, reaching up and digging his blunt nails into Sidon’s forearms, and it’s when Sidon doesn’t let up even an ounce that Link tiredly realizes he isn’t going to be able to keep up with him like this. He cranes his neck down to see where that immense Zoran cock was pistoning into him, making the raunchiest of wet slapping noises, the other cock sitting to the side and giving light twitches. Link stares at it and gets an idea. A gross one.

Managing to pry his hands off Sidon is a major test of strength. Signing is an even greater accomplishment when he manages to sign _Break_.

Sidon stops near instantly, blinking some gold back into his vision. “Sorry, was I being too rough?” Link snorts, wondering where he came up with the idea, and wipes his sweaty forehead.

_How many times have you cum?_

The prince considers it. “Well, when you were giving me oral. But aside from that I have not yet. Is… is that a problem for you?”

 _I’ve cummed like three times_ , signs Link, _But I have an idea that’s going to blow the jizz straight out of you_.

Link has Sidon pull out of him, a torrent of various fluids sliding down his ass. He actually reaches down to scoop some of them up, lubrication as he puts a finger through the tight muscle. _Preparing_ , is all he manages with one free hand, the other adding two fingers to spread himself on. It’s no Sidon but it’ll have to do.

There had been times where Link had lamented the fact he didn’t have a penis. Those times were mostly when he had to piss somewhere inconvenient, and mostly when he had to pretend to be a woman to get into Gerudo Town, even though he biologically looked like one. It was complicated. What he _was_ happy about was the fact he’d been given two holes instead of one cock, because he was going to need both of them right now.

Three fingers in and he grits his teeth. Sidon is waiting with a patience Link would have never maintained, allowing the Hylian to put his plan into action with the utmost of trust. He’s so sweet.

Once he feels he’s loose enough, assured the numbing effect will help in this instance, Link flips himself over and spreads his ass and pussy.

It visibly clicks to Sidon as his eyes widen. “Both?”

 _Well I won’t manage otherwise._ Link shakes his hips and licks his lips, hoping to entice the prince over. He gives a triumphant grin into the pillows when he feels those large hands on his hips, drawing him back to feel the press of two cocks against his entrances.

“I have to admit, this is more like how Zora mate. Usually it’s in the water, but the position is similar.”

 _Kinky_. 

Link grinds against Sidon until he coaxes him back into the moment, not too interested in whatever lesson Sidon was trying to inject into this. He doesn’t have to wait as he feels the first push, Sidon’s upper cock sliding easily inside as the lower one re-enters his pussy. He’s already a bit tired but he wasn’t going to stop till Sidon was as equally fucked out as he was, his resolve hardening as he actively pushed back.

To his credit Sidon indeed was no longer overly gentle, sliding in slowly but unwavering, until he managed to get both of himself in. The bulge in Link’s stomach was even more prominent, the pressure in his ass causing his knees to give out. Hugging a pillow to himself, Link gave the nod for Sidon to start moving again.

Perhaps he should have listened, because as Sidon began up again his movements felt… different. No less herculean in strength, rocking into the small Hylian with a fury, but the finesse from before was ebbing away as the snarling above him grew even more animalistic. 

Link raised his head but found a large hand pushing his face into the pillows, Sidon’s breathing sounding erratic from where he hears him, feeling his crest brush against the back of his neck while Sidon buries his face against his shoulders. He uses his other hand to support Link’s dead weight, sliding to his stomach where Sidon can feel himself spear into both of the hero’s passages, squeezing possessively and trailing angry red lines.

That long tongue comes out to lap at Link’s sweaty flushed skin, causing him to inadvertently shiver. It definitely wasn’t fear, no, hell no, it was more like…

“Arousal.”

Link can _feel_ the way Sidon grins, mouth so close to his vulnerable flesh he felt his nerves jump at every almost-touch. “Did you know that I can smell how you feel?” Sidon nuzzles his crest against Link’s cheek, still holding him down and towering over him. “I didn’t want you to know, to non-Zora it’s a rather invasive quality. I had been hesitant to take this position as well, it’s something you could have never known on your own.” The prince’s tone has sunk to abyssal tones, more animal than man, a dangerous undercurrent to every sentence as his mouth inches closer and closer to Link’s shoulder.

“And yet, you’re showing me no smell of fright. Quite the opposite. It’s a strong scent of apprehension mixed with lust. You’re a rather insatiable creature, aren’t you, my sweet little Hylian? My most treasured friend and lover. My heart, my pearl.”

Sidon spoke like how he did back at the inn, without needing Link’s prompting this time. It was likely his instincts kicking in, changing the affable prince into this carnal beast. Link grinned against the pillows and canted his hips up, turning his head just enough that Sidon can see the glimmer of challenge dancing in his eyes.

A dam broke, or more like the gates of hell were thrown open as Sidon howled and began to fuck him in true earnest. Link hadn’t realized just how much Sidon was holding back until now, being crushed to the prince’s chest as he thundered into him with a pace that was bruising.

He relished the overload of sensations, letting out hoarse screams and moans that bounced off the walls and only spurred his prince on faster. It was _deep_ , deeper than Link’s body had any right to go. One cock was buried to the hilt in his pussy while the other explored the depths of his colon, the bit of him vised between them having nowhere else to go. He came again and felt stars burst from behind his eyes, entire soul clenching and unclenching and unable to keep still if not for Sidon physically holding him down.

Link had thought he’d be able to get Sidon to cum if he used both lengths but the prince still didn’t seem close to the edge. He himself was at his limits, certain he was going to pass out before this was over, wracking his scrambled brains to find a way.

Sidon’s teeth scraped against his pulse, and immediately Link knew.

In hindsight he could have figured it out, but better late than never. With renewed gusto, he twisted himself out from underneath the prince’s grasp, using the momentum to hook an arm around Sidon’s neck. The change in balance caused for Sidon to rear up on his knees, not stopping at all as he held Link up with a hand on his torso and the other keeping one leg lifted to allow access. Sidon’s ragged and torn breathing came right next to the Hylian’s ear.

Link licked his lips, preparing himself, and then reached up with a hand to yank Sidon by the fin on his head, pushing his open mouth down onto his shoulder.

Instincts did the rest as Sidon sunk his fangs straight down, his claws sinking into the hero’s worn body as well as his pace became hurried and frantic, amazingly enough going even faster as Link finally felt him swelling up.

When Sidon came Link really did pass out. Be it from the sudden pain and blood-loss, the force of cumming again from the immense pressure, or plain exhaustion, he chalked it up to all of it as the sound of Sidon speaking grew distant. His head lolled to the side, eyes open but unseeing as he went completely limp.

The only thing he could manage is a dazed thumbs-up for Sidon, assuming the other was worried for him or something. Thick cum oozing down from between his sore legs Sidon’s tongue licking at the bite marks on his shoulder, a hazy fog encapsulating all his sense so he experienced it in a muffled way far from his own consciousness. Mostly he just felt tired.

Slowly Sidon pulled himself out, leaving Link to go through the five-stages of grief in rapid succession at the loss. His holes were gaping, a torrent of seed and what-have-you gushing out to soak the sheets and pillows.

He didn’t remember what happened between him being held and the two of them soaking in Sidon’s sleeping pool, but when he finally came to he felt a hand petting through his tangled hair. Link gives a tired groan and leans his head into the touch, feeling the pull on his worn and abused muscles and not caring in the least.

-

“Linny!”

Kodah squeals as she hoists the Hylian up, swinging around with him until Keyden convinces her that Link has to breathe. She sticks her tongue out at him and he bites in her direction, an odd gesture Link had seen before that now he knows is _very_ flirtatious. Their anniversary must have been a good one.

  


Link waves to Finley who also looks upbeat for once, a nice flower necklace on her head courtesy of Lurelin. Sasan wasn’t there but he was probably on his way.

“How was it?” Keyden went over to where Sidon proudly stood behind the desk. “I hope it wasn’t too drole.”

Sidon shook his head. “Not at all, in fact I’d be more than happy to watch over again sometime!”

Bet you would, thought Link, returning to the seafood paella he’d been eating before Kodah and Co. returned. It was, of course, made by Sidon.

“Are you going to ask for more cooking lessons in return?” Pries Kodah, giving him a knowing wink that causes Link to freeze in his seat. Sidon, through sheer force of will, stares straight ahead even as he sucks in a sharp breath through his gills.

Keyden is shooing Finley away, talking about something or whatnot, whatever to get the young woman out of the line of fire.

Link looks up and Sidon refuses to meet his gaze.

He keeps staring.

Kodah’s gaze volleys between each man with rising surprise. Her jaw drops open as it clicks.

Finally Sidon looks over to Link and they all yell at once.

“I’m sorry, Link, I wanted to impress you!”

“Oh my fins, did you do this to court Linny?”

_I FUCKING KNEW IT! THIS IS A PAELLA OF LIES!_

“I couldn’t ask you for help without you knowing my intentions!”

“It’s Linny, isn’t it?”

_YOU’RE A WHORE, SIDON! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I WOULD’VE LOVED TO TEACH YOU!_

“Pardon me? Who did just about _every_ Zora courting ritual _without_ the one they were courting?”

“The suspense is killing me, is it Linny?”

 _FUCK’S SAKE, KODAH, YES IT’S ME_.

“Yes, it’s Link!”

Kodah gasped, hands squishing her cheeks, eyes shining. “Congratulations you two! I’m so happy for you!”

He put a hand over his eyes, having been laughing and choking as Sidon holds the podium to stabilize himself. The prince looks equal parts stressed and on the verge of tears. Link simply sighed, a happy flush to his cheek as he spooned up another bite of the paella. He was reminded that he had fishing lessons with Mei after this.

As Kodah dug into Sidon, wanting to pry out all the juicy details from him, his and Link’s eyes met from across the way.

 _Looking forward to a hundred years of this?_ He inquired, smile full of mirth but eyes bright and honest.

Sidon gave a fond look his way, signing back:

  
_I can’t wait_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
